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Writing Samples
Band 4

the two pie charts below show the material status of the populations of Canada and australia Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant

the two pie charts below show the material status of the populations of Canada and australia Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant
#two #show #status #populations #canada #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided chart
discuss
Change the verb form
discusses
show examples
 the material status of
Use synonyms
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
between 6 different
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 .
Overall
Linking Words
 the most dominant
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
maritual
Correct your spelling
marital
 status of both
Use synonyms
canada
Replace the word
the Canadian
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 was
saparated
Correct your spelling
separated
 but not divorced and
maried
Correct your spelling
married
remarried
.
In addition
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we can notice that the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of married people in
Use synonyms
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
is
approximatley
Correct your spelling
approximately
 the double amount of those in
Use synonyms
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 and that there is no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
same sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
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 marriage in
Use synonyms
australia's
Change the capitalization
Australia's
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 . To get
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
canada's
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Canada's
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 are the separated but not divorced
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
53% and the married
for
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apply
show examples
29% .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the least amount
population
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 are the category of widowed and never married for 7% for both ,
in addition
Linking Words
 to divorced and
same sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
 marriage for 1% and 3%
respectivley
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Marover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
 the highest
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 are married and separated but not divorced
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
46% and 41% respectively and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lower
percentage
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 5%, 6% and 2% for single, window and divorced.
Submitted by sohad_saad2005 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, australia, percentage, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • marital status
  • population
  • pie charts
  • percentage
  • categories
  • Married
  • Single
  • Divorced
  • Widowed
  • distribution
  • noticeable trends
  • comparison
  • significantly different
  • similarities
  • striking differences
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