IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking the visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking the visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #visit #two #period
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table illustrates how many
visitors
Use synonyms
 visited the Ashdown
Museum
Use synonyms
 the
year
Use synonyms
 before and the following
year
Use synonyms
 it was refurbished.
Also
Linking Words
, the pie charts show the result of research asking
visitors
Use synonyms
 how they felt about their visit during the same two periods.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
visitors
Use synonyms
’
number
Use synonyms
 which they visited the Ashdown
Museum
Use synonyms
 during the
year
Use synonyms
 after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
 was significantly higher than the
visitors
Use synonyms
 figure which that
visitors
Use synonyms
 who visited that
museum
Use synonyms
 during the
year
Use synonyms
 before
refurbishment
Use synonyms
Firstly
Linking Words
, the researches illustrate that the
number
Use synonyms
 of very dissatisfied
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 numbers gradually minimized
year
Use synonyms
 after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, those who answered dissatisfied with the survey of satisfaction remarkably decreased the
year
Use synonyms
 after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
 too. After the development of the
museum
Use synonyms
, the very satisfied visitor
number
Use synonyms
 was greatly maximized. And the satisfied visitor
number
Use synonyms
 increased
similarly
Linking Words
 to very satisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the quality of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who did not get responses to the survey of satisfaction did not change in the same two periods.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, year, number, refurbishment with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: