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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions between 1967 and 2007

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions between 1967 and 2007
The line graph illustrates the emissions of
carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide in metric
tons
Use synonyms
 by each person in 4 different Countries over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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40 years. From the line
graph
Add a comma
graph,
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it is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide emissions declined in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom and Sweden between 1967 and 2007.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 in Italy and
Portugal
Add a comma
Portugal,
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 it gradually climbed over the period shown. When looking in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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 it can be described that the
carbon
Use synonyms
emission
Use synonyms
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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Stated
Replace the word
States
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 gradually went down from 11 metric
tons
Use synonyms
 to 9
from
Change preposition
apply
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between 1967 and 2007. The
emission
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 in Sweden had a rapid growth
just
Change preposition
of just
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 over 10 metric
tons
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 over a period of 10 years,
while
Linking Words
 it had a significant decline to 5 metric
tons
Use synonyms
 till 2007. It can be seen that Portugal had the lowest
carbon
Use synonyms
emission
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 in 1967 under 2 metric
tons
Use synonyms
 which considerably rose and reached over 5 metric
tons
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 over the end of the shown period. The same
emission
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 was
also
Linking Words
 seen by Italy which inclined nearly from 4 metric
tons
Use synonyms
 to just under 8 between 1967 and 2007.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, tons, emission with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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