IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

student should pay full cost for their own study because unoversity education benefits individuals rather than society .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the digital era,some people believe that
students
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 need to pay full fees for their own studies because the potential advantage of
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university
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the university
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 helps us improve detailed
skills
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 and
also
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 develops knowledge and grasp
by
Change preposition
through
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 education. The main point when we pay the full
cost
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 of
university
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 is that pupils have more quality in
study
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 and workplace that can be supplied by
university
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 education .
Therefore
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 ,
this
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 reason ensures we have
relaxed
Correct article usage
a relaxed
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 and comfortable atmosphere in lessons so
then
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students
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 are more
concenstrate
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concentrate
concentrated
 on studying and improving their knowledge .
For instance
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, the
students
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 learn in the high-quality infrastructure receive more information and develop
skills
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 in focus on studying.
Additionally
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,when we pay full
cost
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 to
study
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 in
university
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 have more benefits than
society
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. Turning to the other side,the another argue that pay for
society
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.
This
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 point can help us more developing in community
skills
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.
Besides
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, it
also
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 creates a freedom of atmosphere than studying in
university
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.
However
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,when
students
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will spend their time playing
instead
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 of learning and concentrating on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other things but not studying.
For instance
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 ,
students
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 who pay the full
cost
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 to learn in
society
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 will have a risk of ignoring the lessons.
Therefore
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,
students
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 need to choose to learn in
university
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instead
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 of
society
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. In conclusion,people who pay the full
cost
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 for learning in
university
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 have more potential to develop
skills
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,and knowledge and ensure discipline in
study
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 exceeds
study
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 in
society
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sentence structure
Consider using a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more coherent and engaging. This will also help in expressing your ideas more clearly.
specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in achieving a higher score in the 'relevant specific examples' criterion.
balanced argument
Ensure you fully develop your argument on both sides of the topic to meet the task achievement criterion effectively. This includes providing a balanced view if you are discussing both sides of an argument.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion were clear, contributing to a structured response.
logical structure
Your essay exhibits a logical structure, helping the reader follow your arguments effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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