IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

in some culture the parents arrange marriage for their children but in others people choose their own marriage partner. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each system?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Marriage has always been an interesting topic to talk about. There are some people who argue that parents should unilaterally determine their
children
Use synonyms
's
partners
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 some argue that one should make his/her own decision when choosing a life partner. I personally think that the advantages of choosing our own
partners
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages. It is undeniable that there are some reasons why an arranged marriage is beneficial.
Firstly
Linking Words
, parents will have the highest standard when it comes to choosing their kids' life partner.
Consequently
Linking Words
, their
children
Use synonyms
 will end up to be with
someone
Use synonyms
 who has exceptional qualities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, parents have lived longer than their
children
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they will have more knowledge and experience in selecting the potential candidates.
However
Linking Words
, the downside is that there may be a condition where the
children
Use synonyms
 are not truly fond of these chosen
partners
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if
someone
Use synonyms
 determines his/her own
partners
Use synonyms
, it can be guaranteed that he/she loves the person wholeheartedly, and it will be a strong foundation to start a marriage.
In addition
Linking Words
, each person will know what type of qualities they need in their
partners
Use synonyms
, and
hence
Linking Words
 they can choose
someone
Use synonyms
 truly based on what they need.
However
Linking Words
, the downside is that sometimes it is very difficult to see the bad things in a person when we are so in love with them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a big admiration and attachment can become a double-edged sword. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 I think there are some benefits to arranged marriages, I am of the opinion that people should choose their own
partners
Use synonyms
, as they need to get married to
someone
Use synonyms
 whom they truly love and
someone
Use synonyms
 whom they need.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To further improve, you could integrate more specific examples that highlight real-life scenarios or statistics to strengthen your arguments. This would enhance your essay's persuasive power and give it more depth.
task achievement
Try to ensure a balanced discussion between both viewpoints before stating your own perspective. While your essay leans towards one side, showcasing the advantages and disadvantages of both sides equally creates a more balanced argument.
coherence and cohesion
Using transitional phrases to link your ideas can help in enhancing the flow of your essay. Consider phrases that contrast or compare points more explicitly to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing the essay's argument clearly and summarizing the main points effectively.
structure
You did a good job of maintaining a logical structure throughout your essay, which makes your arguments easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, demonstrating a good understanding of the task at hand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compatibility
  • support system
  • divorce rates
  • marital dissatisfaction
  • personal connection
  • mutual attraction
  • marital satisfaction
  • personal freedom
  • autonomy
  • family pressures
  • strained relationships
  • emotional connection
  • long-term coexistence
  • practical aspects of compatibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: