The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012

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The bar graph indicates the number of audiences of the Olympics in separate categories by gender between the years 1924 and 2012.

Overall

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, the number of people has increased every year during the Olympics.

However

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, most of them are men's alternatives. Large women's interest increased dramatically in 2012. In the beginning, women who enjoyed the game in 1924 and 1952 had less than 1000.

While

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women in 1984 had several quantities around 2000 come to joy with the game.

Also

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, in 2012 extreme rise saw its figures, presented 5000 which was more than two times compared with 1924. Even Though, men have the biggest portion.

Nevertheless

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, the total number of spectators is not growing as another gender when compared with the years before. In 1924 they had approximately 3000 onlookers

subsequently

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, 1952 and 1984 had a similar size of assembly about 4000-5000 and in 2012 had visitors close to 5000.

np.napatpingFri May 10 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

150 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender ratio
inclusion
significant gap
gradual increase
key Olympics
notable increase
policy changes
closing gender gap
socio-political factors
feminist movements
gender equality
parity

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The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012

Artists and scientists both benefit society. Compare the contributions of artists and scientists. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more? Give examples.

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number ofpeople with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many people prefer ﬁxed routine in a daily life, while others prefer their day not to be ﬁxed or unplanned. Discuss both views and give opinion.