A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree
in the 21st century, usage of non-renewable
energy
sources has come on
to a peak. Experts predict that Change preposition
apply
oil
resources in the world will be exhausted in near
Correct article usage
the near
future
. Therefore
, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
people argue thatCorrect article usage
apply
,
some part of Remove the comma
apply
money
Add an article
the money
that is
already being spent on exploring new oil
wells should be used to enhance renewable power sources. I totally agree on
Change preposition
with
this
view and facts related to this
will be discussed in this
essay.
Firstly
, according to
researches
, it has been found that all the Fix the agreement mistake
research
oil
resources in
our planet will Change preposition
on
be come
to an end within Change to the active voice
come
have come
couple
of decades. Change the article
a couple
This
is due to
the highly
dependence on petroleum products as most Change the adverb
high
of
vehicles still use these as fuels. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, it is very much essential to find other alternative energy
techniques to replace Octanes. Since, wind and solar radiation are readily available in
the Earth, finding methods to convert and store their Change preposition
on
energy
in the form of electricity are
essential. For that, money Change the verb form
is
need
to be allocated for the experiments as they are very much costly.
Change the verb form
needs
Furthermore
, in the future
, prices of oils will be rocketed due to
high demand and lower supply. As a result
of that, conflicts will be created among the nations and eventually results
in wars. Correct subject-verb agreement
result
However
, if we have other power generating
methods to deal with Add a hyphen
power-generating
this
situation, everyone will live peacefully in this
world.
In conclusion, there is doubt that there will be bad consequences for all of us in future
,
if we do not find ways to get rid of Remove the comma
apply
oil
dilemmas. Hence
, every countries
must share Change to a singular noun
country
their
knowledge and money to explore new Correct pronoun usage
its
energy
supplies to cater the
demand in the Change preposition
for the
future
.Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest. While your essay communicates clear ideas, more dynamic sentence structures could boost its impact.
Task Achievement
To deepen your analysis, consider incorporating a wider range of examples and evidence. Expanding your argument with more detailed examples could strengthen your position further.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, outlining the importance of developing renewable energy sources as opposed to relying on depleting oil reserves.
Task Response
You maintained a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay, demonstrating a strong stance on the topic which aligns well with the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good cohesion, with paragraphs well-organized and logically structured, making your argument easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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