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Band 5.5

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#money #oil #world #resources #sources #power #wind
in the 21st century, usage of non-renewable
energy
 sources has come
on
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apply
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to a peak. Experts predict that
oil
 resources in the world will be exhausted in
near
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the near
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future
.
Therefore
, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people argue that
,
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apply
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 some part of
money
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the money
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that is
 already being spent on exploring new
oil
 wells should be used to enhance renewable power sources. I totally agree
on
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with
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this
 view and facts related to
this
 will be discussed in
this
 essay.
Firstly
,
according to
researches
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research
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, it has been found that all the
oil
 resources
in
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on
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 our planet will
be come
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come
have come
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 to an end within
couple
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a couple
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 of decades.
This
 is
due to
 the
highly
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high
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 dependence on petroleum products as most
of
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vehicles still use these as fuels.
Thus
 , it is very much essential to find other alternative
energy
 techniques to replace Octanes. Since, wind and solar radiation are readily available
in
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on
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 the Earth, finding methods to convert and store their
energy
 in the form of electricity
are
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is
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 essential. For that, money
need
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needs
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 to be allocated for the experiments as they are very much costly.
Furthermore
, in the
future
, prices of oils will be rocketed
due to
 high demand and lower supply.
As a result
 of that, conflicts will be created among the nations and eventually
results
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result
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 in wars.
However
, if we have other
power generating
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power-generating
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 methods to deal with
this
 situation, everyone will live peacefully in
this
 world. In conclusion, there is doubt that there will be bad consequences for all of us in
future
,
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 if we do not find ways to get rid of
oil
 dilemmas.
Hence
, every
countries
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country
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 must share
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 knowledge and money to explore new
energy
 supplies to cater
the
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for the
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 demand in the
future
.
Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest. While your essay communicates clear ideas, more dynamic sentence structures could boost its impact.
Task Achievement
To deepen your analysis, consider incorporating a wider range of examples and evidence. Expanding your argument with more detailed examples could strengthen your position further.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, outlining the importance of developing renewable energy sources as opposed to relying on depleting oil reserves.
Task Response
You maintained a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay, demonstrating a strong stance on the topic which aligns well with the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good cohesion, with paragraphs well-organized and logically structured, making your argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
What to do next:
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