Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #idea #work

Nowadays, older people can have several positive aspects. To be specific, elderly people sometimes have a possibility of internal diseases so they want to find a

light-workload

Correct your spelling

light workload

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to balance their lifestyle

such

as positive energy,

maintain

Correct word choice

and maintain

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their health. By staying engaged in the workforce, they can maintain

Correct article usage

apply

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social interaction which

are

Change the verb form

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important for their

overall

well-being.

For example

, at the age of 60, a woman who

work

Correct subject-verb agreement

works

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and

live

Correct subject-verb agreement

lives

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in California, US. She is a doctor who

take

Change the verb form

takes

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care

for

Change preposition

show examples

poor children and has no fees.

This

is a meaningful act and she

want

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wants

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to promote her work and convey a message

with

Change preposition

show examples

public

Add an article

the public

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around her.

Therefore

, it is true that older people still have

ability

Change the article

the ability

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to balance their work and health

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

Submitted by chauhongngoc.577 on Sat May 11 2024

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Introduction

Try to start your essay with a clear introduction that presents your viewpoint. This will set the stage for the reader to understand your position on the topic.

Supporting Example

Your example of the doctor is good, but remember to connect your examples more clearly to the main argument to make your point stronger.

Logical Structure

Work on developing a more structured format with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion to enhance readability and coherence.

Completeness

Consider expanding your argument to include both sides of the topic. This will help in demonstrating a more complete understanding and achieving a higher score in task response.

Example

You provided a meaningful example to support your viewpoint, which helps in illustrating your argument.

Tone

You maintained a positive tone throughout the essay, which is good for engaging the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

124 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some believe that more young people hold the important positions in government, while others believe that the young people should not. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do yout think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Write about the following topic: Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?