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Band 5

Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter, describe what you enjoyed about the course say how much cooking you've done since the course suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer

#course #director #cookery #school #ve #offer
Dear Madam, I am writing
this
 letter regarding that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 have taken
cookery
Correct article usage
a cookery
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course
 I really
apreciate
Correct your spelling
appreciate
 it. I hope
this
 letter finds you in great health and you are doing well there. First of all, I am going to explain that I really enjoyed
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
course
 facilities the
kithcen
Correct your spelling
kitchen
 tools
is
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are
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 very good.
In addition
, there
have
Verb problem
are
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 sophisticated goods it is really assist participants
to
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in
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 fast
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
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about
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apply
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the material.
Moreover
, the
instructures
Correct your spelling
instructors
in structures
 have great
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
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hence
 it
useful
Add a missing verb
is useful
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 to enhance the
pupils
Change to a genitive case
pupil's
pupils'
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ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
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.
secondly
,
along with
this
 letter I would inform you that I have done two main
course
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courses
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 the one is Asian culinary
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 was
teaching
Wrong verb form
taught
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 by
chef
Capitalize word
Chef
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 Vievian.
Furthermore
, I have done Arabian meals by
chef
Capitalize word
Chef
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 Abdul, I
can catch
Verb problem
gained
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 a lot of experience from them
such
 as how to
efficient
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be efficient
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 at work and how important to keep
Correct article usage
the trusted
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trusted
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trust
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from
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of
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 the
costumer
Correct your spelling
customers
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.
Therefore
, in the next summer
holiday
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holiday,
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 I want to take
Correct article usage
an italian
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italian
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Italian
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 food
course
 to develop my
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
about
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of
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european
Change the capitalization
European
show examples
culinary
Replace the word
cuisine
show examples
.
Thanks
Replace the word
Thank
show examples
 you for your nice attention, I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Best regard, Mr.Bian.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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Paragraph Usage
Use paragraphs more effectively to organize your content; this helps the reader follow your points more easily.
Spelling and Grammar
Check for minor spelling and grammar errors, but your overall message is clear and well-communicated.
Sentence Structure
Explore using a variety of sentence structures to keep your writing interesting and engaging.
Detailing
Consider providing more detailed examples or explanations in each paragraph to strengthen your points.
Content Appreciation
You effectively communicated your enjoyment of the course and specific aspects that you appreciated, like the kitchen tools and the instructors' qualifications.
Initiative and Interest
Your suggestions for a new course and your expressions of hope for future learning show a good initiative and interest.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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