IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have received a bill from a mobile phone (or cell phone) company for international call charges relating to a time when you did not use your phone for international calls. Write a letter to the company, Complaining about this Giving your reasons Asking for the bill to be changed

#bill #phone #cell #company #charges #time
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Dear Mr. Robert , The reason why I am addressing you is that I complain about your international call changes company ,
due to
this
 company is demanding from me the excess payment despite of I did not use from your company.
Firstly
 , I am
worriying
Correct your spelling
worried
about
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that
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 I have received a bill from a mobile phone system which
is call
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is called
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 networks in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international contact , because I did not use my phone for
lump
Add an article
a lump
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 sum .
Additionally
 , on my opinion , one of the most important is it
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
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 to decrease
my
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in my
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 private wealth .
Besides
 , I do not want to spend
of
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apply
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money
for
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on
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 excessive expenses and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unnecessary things . Indeed , your community accepted
this
 decision is very
inconvenience
Replace the word
inconvenient
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 for everyone , so I request
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
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 to change
this
 bill of law .
Furthermore
 ,
this
 bill of
law
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the law
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 might
harming
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harm
be harming
show examples
 to your system .
Therefore
 , I invite some improvements for your benefit ,
for example
as a result
 of reducing your
networksʼ
Correct your spelling
network
 prices is winning their love . I hope you will not ignore
of
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apply
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my offers and requests and
also
 I wish
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 to develop . Yours sincerely , Rustamova Fotima
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
To improve, aim for a clearer organization of ideas and paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single point. Also, use transition words to connect your ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt fully. Provide specific details about the complaint, your reasons, and your request for the bill to be changed, to enhance task completion.
task achievement
You successfully communicated your main concerns and requests, which is good practice for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The polite tone towards resolving the issue is appropriate and well-maintained throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Billing discrepancy
  • Inaccurate charges
  • Customer service
  • Billing cycle
  • Itemized statement
  • Rectification
  • Resolving billing issues
  • Goodwill gesture
  • Accuracy in billing
  • Proactive communication
  • Service provider
  • Customer satisfaction
  • Adjustment of charges
  • Billing department
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