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Band 7.5

in some culture the parents arrange marriage for their children but in others people choose their own marriage partner. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each system?

#culture #parents #marriage #children #people #partner #system
These days, many countries still have their traditional cultures in which
parents
 are able to arrange marriage for their offspring. In
this
 essay, both the advantages and disadvantages will be outlined before reaching a conclusion.
To begin
 with, letting fathers or mothers organise and plan marriage for their
children
 brings some benefits.
Firstly
,
parents
 always find and choose what suits their youngsters. They consider all matters of
children
's partners
such
 as financial stability, personalities, etc. Making sure that their offspring will not encounter suffering in the future.
Secondly
, marriages that are arranged by
parents
 are easy to agree and approve. The daughter-in-law or son-in-law's
parents
 might be the
parents
' old and well-known friends.
Thus
, after the wedding, if there are some arguments or conflicts occur between newlyweds, they will talk to each other and the issue will be solved quickly.
Additionally
, there are several negative effects when their
children
 are not allowed to choose partners. At
first,
newlyweds who are forced to be married do not know and understand each other personalities.
Therefore
, when they have something uncommon, it would lead to conflicts or violence.
Next,
parents
 from both sides need to meet and get familiar before the wedding begins.
However
, if they do not like another side, they will definitely force their offspring to stop seeing their partners or cancel the marriage which might be already organised.
Overall
, it is true that some countries still value their old traditions and force their
children
 to marry.
Hence
,
this
 matter provides both positive and negative effects on their offspring.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more vividly. While you provided a general overview of the advantages and disadvantages, incorporating anecdotes or more concrete examples would enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. While your essay demonstrates good structure, making stronger connections between points could further improve readability and coherence.
task achievement
Consider exploring a wider range of opinions and nuances within the topic. You've done well to present both sides, but delving deeper into the complexities of each perspective might offer a more thorough understanding for the reader.
task achievement
You effectively outlined the advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages, providing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, offering a good framing for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, which helps in making your arguments easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compatibility
  • support system
  • divorce rates
  • marital dissatisfaction
  • personal connection
  • mutual attraction
  • marital satisfaction
  • personal freedom
  • autonomy
  • family pressures
  • strained relationships
  • emotional connection
  • long-term coexistence
  • practical aspects of compatibility
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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