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Band 4.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
These days, some universities want to add some different subjects to their main course. Others believe it is more important to give all their time to studying for a qualification. I here discuss both views and get my opinion.
To begin
 with, the competition for jobs increased
due to
 the economic crises and epidemic COVID 19 and employees should offer a high level of ability in main duty to their employers and
that is
 why they must concentrate on their main subject. And it’s worth spending time on their main courses.
On the other hand
, some skills can improve the surface of a position in the workplace.
For example
, connectivity skills can change the situation of a manager to the upper position, and he passes the success more rapidly and achieves better results. To sum it up, I believe that general subjects can help the student to develop their ability and improve their job position.
Submitted by hamedborna on

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Coherence
Ensure there is a logical flow between paragraphs and within each paragraph. Use clear linking words to better connect ideas and sections.
Examples
Expand on your examples and ensure they are directly relevant to the main argument you're discussing. This strengthens your argument and clarity of your position.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion could be strengthened by clearly stating the essay topic and summarizing your opinion and the rationale behind it at the end.
Task Response
To improve task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the task, including a more detailed discussion on both views and a clearer, more developed explanation of your own opinion.
Task Response
You have presented an argument with a clear stance, which is good for task response.
Structure
The essay structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different views, and a conclusion, which is good for coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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