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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In future all cars will be driverless cars, in your opinion are advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#future #cars #driverless
The line graph presents the amount of single-family homes
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
built in the US by
region
 from 2006 to 2012. There was a significant difference in the
number
 of
houses
builtin
Correct your spelling
built in
show examples
 each
region
. The highest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
houses
 in
Northeast
Correct article usage
the Northeast
show examples
region
 was built in 2006 it was 180.000, the same situation with
South
Correct article usage
the South
show examples
region
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because the highest
number
 of
houses
 during
this
 period was built in 2006 (900.000). Based on table data, since 2006, there has been an active decline in the construction of new
houses
. In the southern
region
Add a comma
region,
show examples
 there has been a noticeable increase since 2010,
while
 the northern
region
 continues to decline. In
West
Correct article usage
the West
show examples
region
Add a comma
region,
show examples
 the
number
 of
houses
 started to grow,
while
 in
Midwest
Correct article usage
the Midwest
show examples
region
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
houses
 in 2010 and 2012
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 the same(100.000). In
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 the fewest hoses
built
Add a missing verb
were built
show examples
 in the North
region
 and the highest in the South. Most likely
this
 was caused by the climatic conditions of the regions. In conclusion, we can say that most likely the
number
 of
houses
 in the southern
region
 will continue to grow actively,
while
 in the northern
region
Add a comma
region,
show examples
 the situation will not improve and the
number
 of
houses
 will decrease
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to accurately interpret the task topic; the provided essay discusses a line graph analysis rather than giving an opinion on driverless cars. Clarifying and sticking to the task topic will significantly improve your score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument or description effectively. Ensure paragraphs are well-structured and ideas logically flow from one to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your essay, make sure your introduction clearly states what the essay will discuss, and your conclusion summarizes the key points effectively, tying back to the introduction if possible.
Task Achievement
Provided specific examples and data from the graph to support the analysis.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical progression of ideas from the introduction of data to the analysis and prediction of future trends.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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