In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development
Statistics
showed
that the Wrong verb form
show
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
population
is rapidly increasing with time. In many regions around the globe, people
are moving from countryside
to Add an article
the countryside
cities
. Therefore
, the population
in rural areas is decreasing compared to urban areas which showed a significant increase in population
. In my opinion, i
think that the advantages of living in a Change the capitalization
I
city
outweighs
the Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
drawback
.
First and foremost, Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
people
are moving to urban areas for many purposes such
as,
educational Remove the comma
apply
purpose
, health care and adequate housing environment. Suburbs regions provide low facilities for education and health care services. Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
Nevertheless
, as the population
keep constantly increasing it is very difficult to find a house with reasonable prices. While
, on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
cities
provide good access for
hospitals, schools and houses or flats to stay in. It is expected that by 2022 no one will be living in Change preposition
to
a
Correct article usage
the
countryside
due to
lack of facilities.
Secondly
, most of
Change preposition
apply
people
are concerned about the traffic congestion that can happen due to
overpopulation on
Change preposition
in
cities
. However
, this
problem can be easily solved by constructing wider road
and encouraging Fix the agreement mistake
roads
people
to drive environmental
friendly cars and e-bikes. Change the adjective
environmentally
Cities
will go through urbanization
path, which will result in Correct article usage
an urbanization
knock-on
effect on Add an article
a knock-on
cities
. In New York city
, Capitalize word
City
a
research was carried out showing that after 30 Correct article usage
apply
year
from Change to a plural noun
years
now
all Add a comma
now,
cities
in America will be the most suitable place to live in
and there will be no one living in Change preposition
apply
a
Correct article usage
the
countryside
.
In conclusion, people
main goal is to live in a place Change noun form
people's
were
all facilities in reach, Correct your spelling
where
However
, this
is not provided in suburb
regions. Replace the word
suburban
Although
living in a city
may cause
an effect on Verb problem
have
environment
Add an article
the environment
but
Correct word choice
apply
this
can be easily handled. Indeed the benefits of living in a city
are far more than living in a
Correct article usage
the
countryside
.Submitted by safayahia63 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support the advantages and disadvantages of urbanization, as well as addressing the counterarguments more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Work on a more varied and precise use of linking words to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs for improved cohesion.
task achievement
Make sure your predictions or statements, like 'by 2022 no one will be living in a countryside,' are realistic and backed by evidence or clear logic to maintain credibility.
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your viewpoint and summarizing the main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Overall good structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect or argument related to the urban migration trend.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task directly, providing a clear opinion and a reasoned argument in support of it.