In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city.Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Some
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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university
students
living
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live
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with their parents during their
study
period,
while
others
students
choose to stay outside their
hometown
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hometowns
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far away from their
families
. In my opinion, I think living in another city away from family and
friends
during
study
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the study
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has more benefits
then
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than
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living among
friends
. Admittedly, there are some basic advantages of
students
living with their
families
while
they are studying.
Firstly
,
students
will be surrounded by positive people.
In other words
, when
students
live with their parents they will receive support.
For example
, when
students
get stress and pressure from their exams, they will find people who can calm them and help them.
Secondly
, when they live with their
families
, they have
less
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fewer
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expenses.
This
is because they do not have to pay water or electricity bills.
As a result
, they will
safe
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save
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money which can help them with their assignments and projects at the
university
.
Nevertheless
, despite the advantages above, I believe that
students
who live far away from their
families
and
friends
are affected positively by being on their own.
That is
to say, when
students
are not in their hometown, they do not have a lot of
friends
to
hung
Wrong verb form
hang
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out with them.
Therefore
, they are not distracted by
friends
and have time to focus on
study
.
For instance
, those who
study
abroad usually get
grades
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better grades
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more
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apply
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than local
students
. Another obvious benefit is that when
students
living
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live
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by
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on
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their own, they will be related to the
university
more.
To sum up
,
students
being alone and far away from their
families
during
university
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the university
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period far
outweigh
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outweighs
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of
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apply
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being surrounded by
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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,
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view, but to improve, you could provide more detailed examples and specific details to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to expand your range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance clarity and engagement.
task achievement
A more conclusive conclusion summarizing both sides of the argument and your own view would make your position clearer.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have a good foundation in presenting balanced viewpoints in your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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