Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think that should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #people #home

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In contemporary

Change preposition

Contemporary

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humans are becoming times which new helpfulness technology

for

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apply

show examples

own. In the family,

parents

Use synonyms

when older want more help from

children

Use synonyms

for their health, communication and lifefulness.

therefore

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

want to know

this

Linking Words

situation

children

Use synonyms

must stay on their own or not.

Although

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Verb problem

apply

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respectful traditions, youth can lead their own lives without their

parents

Use synonyms

. Every person must be free in adulty times,

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

this

Linking Words

is most important for the future, personal face in society and own new family. But after some periods will be extended family and reunion relatives.

For example

Linking Words

, every young family want to learn to own

children

Use synonyms

the hold conversations through relatives' affection. In that time getting

together with

Linking Words

loved ones

motivate

Wrong verb form

motivated

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and

belief

Replace the word

believed

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for

Change preposition

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the future of

children

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. On the other side

parents

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, even if they are older times do not want to be

together with

Linking Words

their own

children

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of they want a different situation with their own

life

Use synonyms

mate.

For instance

Linking Words

, older

life

Use synonyms

for

parents

Use synonyms

may be the trips, creation of new places or finding own new lifemates friends.

And in

Correct word choice

show examples

that position

learn

Wrong verb form

learned

show examples

more skills and maybe come more amazing ideas for older. In conclusion, I think every person has a right to choose for older

life

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This

Linking Words

period may be loved ones or new strangers with hold conversations,

Linking Words

furthermore

Add a comma

furthermore,

show examples

life

Use synonyms

is continuing

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show examples

the bright side own line. And

this

Linking Words

position will show different challenges to

children

Use synonyms

, adults and every youth in

life

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. Staying with relatives or strangers in older

life

Use synonyms

is not incorrect for humans.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat May 11 2024

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Structure

Your essay provides an interesting perspective on the topic, suggesting a considerable understanding of the prompt. However, it's important to structure your arguments more clearly to effectively guide the reader through your points. Consider using clear introductory sentences for paragraphs and transitions to connect ideas.

Task Response

You've touched upon relevant ideas about the autonomy of youth and parental preferences in adulthood. To enhance task achievement, focus on directly addressing both views presented in the prompt and providing more specific examples to support your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, try to maintain a clear thread of discussion throughout your essay. This can be improved by planning your essay to ensure that each paragraph logically flows from one to the next, and by using cohesive devices effectively.

Language

Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Using a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures can improve the clarity and sophistication of your argument. Additionally, revising for grammatical accuracy can further enhance your essay's readability.

Engagement

You engage with the prompt, offering a thoughtful personal opinion on the issue at hand.

Organization

There is a noticeable attempt to organize ideas into paragraphs, which is a good practice for structuring essays.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think that should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Compare and contrast eating out and cooking at home

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree