IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineer, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineer #work #country
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People have different views about whether educated persons, mostly doctors and engineers, should work in the country where they have finished their education, or some
believes
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believe
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 that, there should not be any limitation to force individuals to choose where to live. I strongly agree with the latter point of view. The forthcoming essay shall discuss
the
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apply
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both ideas and explain my opinion. There are some factors which support the idea
of
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that
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 the country needs its educated generations.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
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apply
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numerous sums of resources and money are allocated
for
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to
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 universities, in order to train
specialist
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specialists
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,
this
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 is considered
as
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apply
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an intellectual investment for a country’s advancement, and
by
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apply
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immigrating
the
Correct article usage
apply
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educated person to foreign countries
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would be a waste of financial resources.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students should have
sense
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a sense
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 of responsibility to the nation where they have a chance to follow their
favored
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favoured
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 major, and their commitments are proved by serving that country with their knowledge.
In contrast
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, some
insists
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insist
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 that everyone
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 free to make
decision
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decisions
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 about their
live
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lives
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.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
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 must accept that
,
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apply
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 it is impossible to keep the work
labor
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labour
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 by force, and it is on
government’s
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the government’s
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shoulder
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shoulders
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 to provide an atmosphere in order to support its educated citizens. It should be considered that
,
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apply
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 students sacrifice their youth to be a doctor,
for example
Linking Words
, so they should have the right to compare their job vacancies among different countries and choose the best option. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 many people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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educators must not immigrate overseas in order to work, I personally suppose that everyone should have the authority to decide about their
live
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lives
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.
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on

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task achievement
Try to present more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on the variety and complexity of your sentence structures to enhance the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively by clearly separating points for a better logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining your overall viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You've presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which is excellent for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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