People think that it will be more enjoyable to watch performance live than watch the same performance on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #performance #television

Many

people

perceive that

people

will

Correct your spelling

likely to feel more intrigued when watching a

live

performance

rather than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one on

television

. It is the opinion of

this

writer that it is more convenient and cost-effective to watch

the

Correct article usage

show examples

live

show on

television

than

the

Correct article usage

show examples

live

one. It is essential to understand that many officers have a propensity for watching

Change preposition

apply

show examples

television

due to

its convenience.

This

due to

the fact that the characteristic of the work in office is

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

means officers have to spend hours sitting in front of the computer’s screen to finish the report.

For

this

reason, many officers do not have much free time for recreational activities

such

as participating in a concert.

As a result

, attending the

live

performance

is impossible for them

while

watching these performances at

home

via

television

is considered to be more convenient.

Moreover

, watching

Change preposition

apply

show examples

television

also

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

them not to squander

the

Change the word

their

show examples

time and have more freedom

of choosing

Change preposition

to choose

show examples

time

Add an article

a time

the time

show examples

to watch.

Besides

, if they

missed

Wrong verb form

miss

show examples

the

performance

, they can record and watch it later leading to a sense of comfort. Another benefit of watching on

television

is saving money because of the comparison between the

overall

cost of watching

live

and watching at

home

. An explanation for

this

can be found in the form of

people

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

to pay more money for means of transport if the concert takes place far away from their

home

Furthermore

people

pay not only for the fee of moving but

also

for the extravagant price of

ticket

Correct article usage

the ticket

show examples

regardless of the location of the seat and the accommodation

coupled with

the food.

Therefore

this

makes the cost of watching a

live

performance

more costly than the one at

home

. Take

Blackpink

Correct article usage

the Blackpink

show examples

concert

Change preposition

show examples

Seoul as an example where the

overall

cost

for

Change preposition

show examples

watching a

live

performance

is estimated

about

Change preposition

show examples

more than 3 million VND whilst

people

just have to pay about 2 million VND

so as

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to watch the

performance

from

Correct article usage

a distances

show examples

distances

Fix the agreement mistake

distance

show examples

. Taking all points into account, it is evident that the expenditure and the convenience are 2 elements that should be considered.

Hence

people

had better watch the

performance

home

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Sat May 11 2024

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Your opinion

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

364 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People think that it will be more enjoyable to watch performance live than watch the same performance on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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