People think that it will be more enjoyable to watch performance live than watch the same performance on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #performance #television

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Many

people

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perceive that

people

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will

Correct your spelling

likely to feel more intrigued when watching a

live

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performance

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rather than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one on

television

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. It is the opinion of

this

Linking Words

writer that it is more convenient and cost-effective to watch

the

Correct article usage

show examples

live

Use synonyms

show on

television

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than

the

Correct article usage

show examples

live

Use synonyms

one. It is essential to understand that many officers have a propensity for watching

Change preposition

apply

show examples

television

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

its convenience.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that the characteristic of the work in office is

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

means officers have to spend hours sitting in front of the computer’s screen to finish the report.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, many officers do not have much free time for recreational activities

such

Linking Words

as participating in a concert.

As a result

Linking Words

, attending the

live

Use synonyms

performance

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is impossible for them

while

Linking Words

watching these performances at

home

Use synonyms

via

television

Use synonyms

is considered to be more convenient.

Moreover

Linking Words

, watching

Change preposition

apply

show examples

television

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

them not to squander

the

Change the word

their

show examples

time and have more freedom

of choosing

Change preposition

to choose

show examples

time

Add an article

a time

the time

show examples

to watch.

Besides

Linking Words

, if they

missed

Wrong verb form

miss

show examples

the

performance

Use synonyms

, they can record and watch it later leading to a sense of comfort. Another benefit of watching on

television

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is saving money because of the comparison between the

overall

Linking Words

cost of watching

live

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and watching at

home

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. An explanation for

this

Linking Words

can be found in the form of

people

Use synonyms

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

to pay more money for means of transport if the concert takes place far away from their

home

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Furthermore

Linking Words

people

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pay not only for the fee of moving but

also

Linking Words

for the extravagant price of

ticket

Correct article usage

the ticket

show examples

regardless of the location of the seat and the accommodation

coupled with

Linking Words

the food.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

makes the cost of watching a

live

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

more costly than the one at

home

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. Take

Blackpink

Correct article usage

the Blackpink

show examples

concert

Change preposition

show examples

Seoul as an example where the

overall

Linking Words

cost

for

Change preposition

show examples

watching a

live

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

is estimated

about

Change preposition

show examples

more than 3 million VND whilst

people

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just have to pay about 2 million VND

so as

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to watch the

performance

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from

Correct article usage

a distances

show examples

distances

Fix the agreement mistake

distance

show examples

. Taking all points into account, it is evident that the expenditure and the convenience are 2 elements that should be considered.

Hence

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

had better watch the

performance

Use synonyms

home

Use synonyms

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Sat May 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Enhancement

While your essay presents a clear argument, focusing on refining your introduction to better outline your main points could enhance clarity and engagement from the start.

Linking Word Variety

Consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, thereby enhancing coherence.

Evidence Diversification

To strengthen your argument, diversify the examples and evidence you provide. This approach can make your points more compelling and comprehensive.

Task Achievement

Your essay provides a clear stance and systematically supports it with relevant arguments and examples, demonstrating a strong task achievement.

Coherence

The logical sequence of your points contributes effectively to the essay's coherence, demonstrating an understanding of essay structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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People think that it will be more enjoyable to watch performance live than watch the same performance on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Your opinion

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In today's globalized world, some people believe international travel is essential for personal growth. Others argue it's a luxury that has a negative impact on the environment. Discuss both these views. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think all university students should study whatever they like. Others that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.