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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015.

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015.
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The given bar chart provides information about comparisons among 5 countries in terms of the number of women who underwent a study in higher education throughout 35 years from 1980 to 2015. It is evident that in 1980, more than half of Australia's female population chose to seek higher education. The remaining nations, including the UK, the USA, and France, had less than 50%, with respective percentages of about 35%, 38%, and 49%. With only 15%, South
Korea
Use synonyms
 has the lowest percentage. Thirty-five years later, the percentage of women going to higher education in all countries has increased to 50%, with the exception of South
Korea
Use synonyms
. Australia's percentage stayed the same
while
Linking Words
 the UK and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 experienced a 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 increase,
France
Correct word choice
and France
show examples
 had a very slight increase.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the rate in South
Korea
Use synonyms
 has increased to 30%. The fact that South
Korea
Use synonyms
 has the lowest statistics out of all the included countries remains unchanged.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words korea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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