IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter explain why you changed jobs describe your new job tell him/her your other news

#work #company #friend #jobs #job #news
Dear John, I'm writing
this
 letter to let you know that I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed my
job
last
 month because I'm fed up
of
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with
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 working
to
Change preposition
for
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 that company. First I'd like to say sorry to you for informing
this
 news very late, and I was very disappointed working here because I wasn't paid for the
job
 I do and the work is hectic, but my salary is very less. On top of that, the manager is very rude most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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. Now I
really
Add a missing verb
am really
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 very happy, and I love
this
job
 and the company a lot because many employees who are working here are very friendly and
kind hearted
Add a hyphen
kind-hearted
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 people. You know very well that I am familiar with the accounts management system and
this
 company is dealing with the tally software that makes my
job
 very easy. My friend
recommend
Wrong verb form
recommended
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 me
to
Change preposition
for
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this
job
 because he's moving to the US, and I gave him your address and I hope he will come to meet you next month. Please look after him as the place is completely new for him. I'd like to tell you that his birthday is approaching next month so please celebrate there, I think
this
 would make him feel that he is not alone. All the best, James
Submitted by prasadjul1986 on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve your coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words to make transitions between sentences and paragraphs smoother.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed comprehensively. Expand on each section with sufficient detail to enrich your letter.
general
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for a more polished and professional finish.
structure
Your letter has a clear structure, with different paragraphs dedicated to each topic as requested in the prompt.
task response
You successfully conveyed your reasons for job change, described your new job, and shared personal news, meeting the task's requirements.
tone
The tone of your letter is friendly and personal, which is suitable for writing to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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