Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Other believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way
Social
media
is a controversial topic worldwide. This
author opines that social network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
live
Correct your spelling
like
facebook
or Twitter affect significantly to a negative side on young Capitalize word
Facebook
invididuals
and their Correct your spelling
individuals
possiblity
to create personal relationships Correct your spelling
possibility
due to
people
always depend
on Wrong verb form
depending
media
and likely
to Add a missing verb
are likely
uplaod
some Correct your spelling
upload
post
about negative things to get Fix the agreement mistake
posts
Correct article usage
a view
view
more. Wrong verb form
viewed
However
, some people
think that media
can help people
get closer in a positive way.
It must be recognized that people
take the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
for granted. The reason is the development of society so everyone all had
Wrong verb form
has
Add an article
a smartphone
smartphone
to relax and upload Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
the
Correct article usage
apply
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
what
Correct word choice
that
are
happening in the world. Change the verb form
is
Moreover
, become
more and more Verb problem
apply
people
using the internet so some bad intended people
abused
it to rob money or leak their personal information. For that reason, social Wrong verb form
abuse
media
will be a good tool for bad people
who have some
bad ideas. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Then
, social network
become more and more toxic.
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
Nevertheless
, others believe that social media
can help people
get closer in a good way. The belief is based on social media
like
a tool to help youths who Change preposition
as
lived
far away Wrong verb form
live
home
Change preposition
from home
can
connect with family and friends Verb problem
apply
thoughout
the Correct your spelling
through
media
by calling or chatting online. This
point may be true, but they just did it for a few days then
they felt bored with calling home because they are addicted to entertainment on the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
. From that, the relationships had a big distance from them to relative people
.
The writers believes
that if Change the verb form
believe
people
used the online platforms a lot, they would be additors
. Correct your spelling
editors
Then
, they lead to the lack of authentic interaction among beings. For example
, if there were an accident on the road or someone met problem
, Correct article usage
a problem
people
who are addicted to the online website and wanted
to gain more views to be popular Wrong verb form
want
instead
of helping them, they
would take pictures or record videos and upload Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
the social sites. Correct pronoun usage
them on
That is
a negative face of the
society and Correct article usage
apply
make
a distance between Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
people
and people
.
In conclusion, social media
hat
both advantages and disadvantages but in Correct your spelling
has
the
modern society, young Correct article usage
apply
people
had
a lot of Wrong verb form
have
pressures
so they always use phones Fix the agreement mistake
pressure
like
a trend. For that, it may create a negative side and cannot form Change preposition
as
a
good relationships or Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
behaviors
.Change the spelling
behaviours
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structure
Try to clearly structure your essay, including a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use paragraphing to separate different points.
content
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task response
Ensure you fully address the task. Discuss both views and your own opinion clearly.
cohesion
Improve coherence with better transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This makes your argument flow more smoothly.
opinion clarity
You provided a clear opinion throughout the essay.
task coverage
Your essay discussed both views as required by the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example