some people belive that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. otheres, however, argue that the circumstances of an indivudual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when diciding on the bunishment. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The topic of whether each type of crime should be punished equally or
individual
Correct word choice
whether individual
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circumstances should be considered is definitely a controversial one.
This
essay may examine both views, and I personally believe that punishment should be brought out under discreet consideration. It is unfortunate that in the midst of vast progress in every field of life, there is
also
a growth of crimes. We cannot deny that it is absolutely vital to introduce strict laws to control the dilemma. Fixed punishment for each type of
offences
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offence
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can arouse public awareness of
severe
Correct article usage
the severe
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consequences that
the
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apply
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criminals need to face
with
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apply
show examples
. Equally importantly,
circumstances
Correct article usage
the circumstances
show examples
of each case should be considered
such
as
offender's
Correct article usage
the offender's
show examples
age, motivation for committing and other environmental factors. To cite just one example,
last
year in China, a bus driver stood up to fight a man who harassed a girl on the bus.
However
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However,
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he was put into jail for a life sentence because he
accidently
Correct your spelling
accidentally
killed the man when he fought back. Public discontent and disillusionment rose after the news was reported. If
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
situation happens again, who would be willing to stand up and take the risk of being sent to
the
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apply
show examples
jail? Though it is hard to pass a perfect fair law, I do believe
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
improvements
can be made by balancing the punishment. It will be a positive movement
to
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for
show examples
both
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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and
the
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apply
show examples
society as a whole.
Submitted by carriexue23 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to diversify your sentence structures to enhance clarity and readability. Some sentences may seem overly complex or convoluted, making them difficult for the reader to follow.
Task Achievement
In addressing both views, ensure equal development and depth. One argument may seem less explored than the other.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to precisely convey your arguments. This will also help with making your essay more engaging and less repetitive.
General
Proofread for spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. While minor errors are noted, maintaining accuracy helps in keeping your argument clear and professional.
Task Achievement
You've provided a clear stance on the issue, which is good for the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a solid framework for your essay.
Task Achievement
The use of a relevant example to support your argument strengthens your essay's persuasive quality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • legal system
  • deterrence
  • efficiency
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • severity
  • motivation
  • necessity
  • coercion
  • momentary lapse in judgment
  • rehabilitative
  • punitive
  • recidivism
  • equitable
  • nuanced approach
  • tailoring
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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