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Band 5.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of thi development?

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #thi #development
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In the past few years, there has been an ever-rising trend to study abroad than it was in the past. Is it a better option to study outside the homeland?
Although
 some people argue that
this
development
 has several drawbacks, others claim that it brings benefits to individuals.
To begin
 with, if a person chooses to pursue a
bachelor
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bachelor's
show examples
 degree abroad, he would develop essential life skills. These from having a conversation with some strangers to paying dorm rent by themselves,
giving
Correct word choice
and giving
show examples
 knowledge of daily life tasks to one individual. One example, activities like dealing with the embassy to
do payment
Wrong verb form
pay
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of
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for
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student
Correct article usage
a student
show examples
visa’s
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visa
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 deposit contribute to one’s negotiation skill
development
, which adds greatly to his communication ability advancement. Another argument is that non-native students
appears
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appear
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 to be tougher than the others, meaning they are more independent because they have to take care
their
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of their
show examples
 well-being on their own.
On the other hand
, an obvious disadvantage of studying outside the origin country is that some students might have to suffer from hypothermia,
for instance
.
This
caused
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is caused
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 by the minimal ability to adapt well
of
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to
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 weather changes,
such
 as coming from Indonesia
as
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apply
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a tropical country to Russia, a four-season country with terrible winter wind. A
further
 issue
relates
Wrong verb form
related
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 to graduates from international universities is that they tend to give less contributions to their own nation.
This
 means that they are neglected by their original country’s vision,
such
 as enhancing people’s prosperity. Admittedly,
this
 is undesirable for one country’s long-term
development
.
To conclude
, it appears that there are several benefits for students who study abroad, including self-
development
 and other important life lessons.
RIsks
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Risks
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 to a disease and minimal interest
to contribute
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in contributing
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 to their homeland’s
development
 appear to be the disadvantages of graduates from foreign countries
Submitted by paslonbahagia on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion in both advantages and disadvantages to maintain a clear, comprehensive exposition of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding specific examples to enhance the clarity and relevance of your points for a more compelling argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Regular review and proofreading can help in spotting and correcting minor errors in grammar and spelling, maintaining the quality of your communication.
Coherence & Cohesion
Structured paragraphs, each starting with a topic sentence, effectively guide the reader through your argument, enhancing the logical flow of ideas.
Introduction
You started with a clear introduction setting the context and outlining both sides of the argument effectively.
Logical Structure
Logical sequence of paragraphs with each focusing on a specific point, contributing to the overall cohesion of the essay.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarises the advantages and disadvantages discussed, reinforcing your argument in a cohesive manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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