Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many
people
consider advertising as a tool to make us interested
to buy
Change preposition
in buying
show examples
things and it
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
successful
to apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
business
. Meanwhile, others think advertising is an ordinary strategy and
people
ignore it. In
this
essay, I will describe both views and give some explanations.
Firstly
, some
people
still believe that advertising is one of the most important things in
business
because it can attract
people
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
the very first time.
People
will pay attention to the
product
when they notice about the promotion.
For instance
, nowadays there are so many skincare
products
that
makes
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make
show examples
people
feel confused to choose which one they should buy and after they see the advertising, they usually decide to try the
product
.
Moreover
, advertising can assist the customer to think
what
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about what
show examples
products
are more suitable for them. They will feel more comfortable and loyal to one brand if they have information about their needs.
On the other hand
, many
people
think advertising is an old-fashioned method in
business
. They think
people
will not pay attention to it because all the businesses have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
and say something identical about their
products
.
Furthermore
, they believe that
people
think most of them lie about the quality of the
product
and
people
do not trust advertising anymore. They think usually
people
will become loyal to their
products
because of the quality not because
the
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of the
show examples
advertising. In conclusion, I believe that advertising is still important to make a
business
become successful because it is the first thing
people
take into consideration when
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
a
product
.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that,
people
will be interested if there are any promotions and gimmicks in an advertisement.
Submitted by hafizahnazir on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, remember that linking ideas and paragraphs can make your argument even stronger.
task achievement
You've done well to discuss both views and provide your own opinion. To enhance your essay, include more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures could make your essay more compelling and improve readability.
task achievement
You effectively introduced the topic and clearly stated the views that you would discuss, which is great for laying the foundation of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good job on providing a conclusion that sums up the arguments and reiterates your opinion. This strengthens the overall coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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