Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
consider advertising as a tool to make us interested
to buy
Change preposition
in buying
show examples
things and it
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
successful
to apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
business
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, others think advertising is an ordinary strategy and
people
Use synonyms
ignore it. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will describe both views and give some explanations.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
still believe that advertising is one of the most important things in
business
Use synonyms
because it can attract
people
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
the very first time.
People
Use synonyms
will pay attention to the
product
Use synonyms
when they notice about the promotion.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays there are so many skincare
products
Use synonyms
that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
Use synonyms
feel confused to choose which one they should buy and after they see the advertising, they usually decide to try the
product
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, advertising can assist the customer to think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
products
Use synonyms
are more suitable for them. They will feel more comfortable and loyal to one brand if they have information about their needs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
think advertising is an old-fashioned method in
business
Use synonyms
. They think
people
Use synonyms
will not pay attention to it because all the businesses have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
and say something identical about their
products
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they believe that
people
Use synonyms
think most of them lie about the quality of the
product
Use synonyms
and
people
Use synonyms
do not trust advertising anymore. They think usually
people
Use synonyms
will become loyal to their
products
Use synonyms
because of the quality not because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
advertising. In conclusion, I believe that advertising is still important to make a
business
Use synonyms
become successful because it is the first thing
people
Use synonyms
take into consideration when
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
a
product
Use synonyms
.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that,
people
Use synonyms
will be interested if there are any promotions and gimmicks in an advertisement.
Submitted by hafizahnazir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, remember that linking ideas and paragraphs can make your argument even stronger.
task achievement
You've done well to discuss both views and provide your own opinion. To enhance your essay, include more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures could make your essay more compelling and improve readability.
task achievement
You effectively introduced the topic and clearly stated the views that you would discuss, which is great for laying the foundation of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good job on providing a conclusion that sums up the arguments and reiterates your opinion. This strengthens the overall coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: