IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Space exploration is very expensive and the money should spend on other thing. Agree or not?

#space #exploration #money
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Recently, there have been many considerations that the government should not invest money into
space
Use synonyms
 exploration because of its exorbitant cost,
while
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 others think
this
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 action can solve some of concerned issues of the world.
This
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 writer agrees with the former and believes that spending cash on improving the standard of resident lives should be given priority.
To begin
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 with the positive sides of
space
Use synonyms
 research, it can be noticed that
this
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 subject satisfies the desire of humans for exploration and adventure. To clarify, all scientists want to discover the mysteries of the universe, which provide a huge amount of information to conquer the cosmos.
For example
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, they are looking forward to finding a planet that can adapt to all of the conditions for humans to live in, so
space
Use synonyms
 missions are necessary for
this
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 task.
Consequently
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, discovering the universe may provide more accommodation and improve the quality of life during the overpopulation of the globe recently.
However
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,
this
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 mission
also
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 requires the authorities to pay a fortune,
whereas
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 that money can be used to enhance the lives of the poor. To explain, to fly into
space
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, explorers must be trained in professional courses to ensure safety.
Besides
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, constructing
space
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 stations on the surface of other planets is
also
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 expensive and time-consuming.
Therefore
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, finance should be saved and supplied to people in difficult situations.
For instance
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, the government can build more infrastructures
such
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 as schools or hospitals, to
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
 the unprivileged to have a better life. Taking everything into account, it can be acknowledged that both tasks are essential nowadays but humans should give priority to improving the standard of life. Hopefully, scientists can explore some interesting facts about outer
space
Use synonyms
, solving considerable issues
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world.
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specific examples
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which will strengthen your essay significantly.
balanced viewpoint
Try to balance the discussion of both viewpoints even if you have a strong opinion favoring one side. This will showcase an ability to engage with multiple perspectives.
language use
Consider varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to add more sophistication and fluency to your writing.
structure
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
transitions
You effectively use transitions to connect ideas smoothly, making your essay coherent and easy to follow.
clear position
Your position is clear throughout the essay, providing a strong standpoint on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • myriad
  • pressing issues
  • allocated
  • advances
  • direct results
  • pave the way
  • uninhabitable
  • inspirational aspects
  • fuels innovation
  • shared goal
  • intellectual capital
  • budget overruns
  • tangible benefits
  • rationale
  • dedicating
  • returns on investment
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