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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries; China and India. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries; China and India. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
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The three pie charts illustrate how much
food
Use synonyms
 was consumed in the
world
Use synonyms
 in 2008 and the comparison with
China
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that processed
food
Use synonyms
 dominated
consumption
Use synonyms
 whether in the
world
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
, or
India
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there were other three kinds of
food
Use synonyms
 (vegetables and fruits, animal
food
Use synonyms
, and nuts and seeds) that
also
Linking Words
 contributed to the
world
Use synonyms
's and nation's
consumption
Use synonyms
. In terms of the most consumed
food
Use synonyms
, processed
food
Use synonyms
 accounted for 41% of the
world
Use synonyms
's
consumption
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, in
China
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 made up 34% and 39%, respectively. Regarding the other kind of
food
Use synonyms
, vegetables and fruits were the top two after the processed
food
Use synonyms
. In the
world
Use synonyms
, the proportion hit 29%.
However
Linking Words
, the category gained 32% in
China
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in
India
Use synonyms
, the percentage reached 23%. For the animal
food
Use synonyms
 category, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 stood at 26% in the
world
Use synonyms
, 15% in
China
Use synonyms
, and 27% in
India
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, for nuts and seeds, the percentage was pretty small only 4% in the
world
Use synonyms
. Even so, the number got higher percentage in
China
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, world, china, india, consumption with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • average consumption
  • worldwide
  • data
  • comparison
  • differences
  • similarities
  • food items
  • categories
  • percentage
  • proportion
  • majority
  • minority
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