Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are bet or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People have different views on whether focusing on only certain subjects
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
positive or negative effects on
teenagers
. There are many benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
issue,
while
there are
also
drawbacks that we have to consider on
besides
as well.
This
essay will discuss
this
issue and suggest my view on the matter On the one hand, there are some grounds to support
this
view that youth have better to concentrate on the subjects that they feel excited
.
Change preposition
about.
show examples
To begin
with, when
teenagers
focus on specific studies they can prevent their interest in learning. In fact, if schools force all
materials
on
children
, many students would be uninteresting easily in their whole
study
.
For instance
,
this
phenomenon can lead to choosing
children
's major that they want to
study
at the university.
Therefore
,
teenagers
should be supported to
study
their interesting
materials
.
On the other hand
, others suggest that students should
study
all subjects.
Firstly
, each subject has a different lesson that students can acquire. In general,
balance
Add an article
the balance
show examples
of education will bring
approach
Add an article
an approach
show examples
that a variety of subject interests.
According to
some academic research, focusing on specific
materials
cannot develop
children
's knowledge of broad
study
.
Moreover
, as society has rapidly
transitioning
Change the verb form
transitioned
show examples
to
modern
Add an article
the modern
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era, many companies require diverse
ablities
Correct your spelling
abilities
for their work to young employees.
Hence
, learning all
materials
might be better to help
teenagaers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
for future
occupation's
Change noun form
occupation
show examples
quality. In conclusion, It is not
clear-cut
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a clear-cut
show examples
issue.
However
, I am of the opinion that
teenagers
should
study
all
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
. Despite of threat of tedious that
children
can get, it will bring better results to
children
for a long period.
Submitted by kimjy3329 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on clearly defining and organizing your introduction and conclusion. Make sure the main points are emphasized.
task achievement
Try to provide more comprehensive and relevant examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
general
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary usage to ensure clarity and precision throughout the essay.
task achievement
Clarify your stance and ensure it is consistently supported throughout your essay.
task achievement
You've addressed both perspectives of the issue, which is essential for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to your essay with each paragraph addressing a unique point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded knowledge base
  • cognitive flexibility
  • adaptability
  • creativity
  • multidisciplinary
  • career prospects
  • informed
  • versatile
  • motivation
  • engagement
  • achievement
  • specialization
  • in-depth expertise
  • emotional and psychological well-being
  • satisfaction
  • burnout
  • personal and professional fulfillment
  • tailor
  • individual needs
  • broad curriculum
  • compromise
  • diverse range
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