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Band 5.5

Some people believe that social meadia sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

#people #meadia #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
Some individuals argue that using social media platforms has a detrimental influence on youngsters and their own
relationships-forming
Correct your spelling
relationship-forming
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 ability
whereas
 others think these platforms positively help
people
 become closer.
This
 writer is of the opinion that social
sites
 are beneficial
due to
 their connection regardless of distance and their environment to exchange knowledge, despite their extraordinary quality relationships. There is no doubt that social media allows young
people
 to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their families and friends
whether
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how far
they
Rephrase
away they
show examples
 are.
Moreover
, many
sites
such
 as Facebook, Twitter, etc provide teenagers with many functions from texting to calling
to
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apply
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other
people
in
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at
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every
Correct determiner usage
the
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 time.
This
 not only prevents adolescents from feeling lonely but
also
 helps maintain the teenagers’ connection with their bonds.
As a result
, a strong relationship will improve the society and the globalization.
However
, social networking
sites
 can harm the young as they reduce face-to-face interactions which may affect the quality of the communications.
This
 is because if youngsters are exposed to strange
people
 just only
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online, they can consider their friends incorrectly. By interacting with unwell
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
people
, teenagers will be affected negatively in their awareness.
This
 point may be true but social
sites
 give chances for introverts communicate and make new friends. The writer contends that social webs provide numerous environments for young users to exchange various knowledge with other
people
 .
This
 will help them widen their information and create lots of interesting relationships online as well. Because of
this
, forming a diverse online condition will bring huge
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 to young
people
. In conclusion, the quality effect of relationships
of
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on
show examples
 social networks cannot
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 their various advantages,
due to
 the flexible ways of connection and abundant learning environment , social
sites
 should be considered to bring
people
 together in a good way.
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Clarity
Ensure clarity in presenting your main arguments. Try to avoid very long sentences that can make your points less clear.
Linking Words
Use a variety of linking words to improve flow and coherence. Although your essay generally flows well, incorporating a wider range of transition signals can enhance readability.
Examples
To further support your arguments, include more specific examples and evidence. This strengthens your essay by proving your points with concrete details.
Introduction/Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay's argument.
Structure
Good use of paragraphs to structure your essay, helping readers understand your main points.
Balance & Insight
You present a balanced view, considering both the positive and negative impacts of social media, which shows comprehensive understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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