IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently went on a sightseeing tour which you did not enjoy. Write a letter to the manager of the tour company. In your letter: *Explain why you chose that particular tour *Explain what you did not like about the tour *Suggest two ways in which the tour can be improved

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
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 letter to complain about the cruise tour, which was organized by your company, that I took part in
last
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 month. There are two reasons why I joined
this
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 trip. First of all, I was attributed by a huge number of positive reviews about
this
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 trip that people left on your website, which
are
Change the verb form
is
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 really appealing.
In addition
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, you mentioned in the advertisement that
this
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 cruise is the most luxurious one around the world currently, so I would like to enjoy
all-around
Correct article usage
the all-around
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 facilities.
However
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,
this
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 tour really below my expectations.
Firstly
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, some of the facilities were under improvement and
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not open to
public
Correct article usage
the public
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such
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 as
spa
Correct article usage
the spa
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 room and outdoor swimming pool, which made me feel disappointed. Added to that, the food was not served on time. Normally, we needed to wait for around 30 minutes to get our order, and some dishes were variously greasy and cold. I think it is
wisdom
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wise
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 to hire more staff in the dining area, which can shorten the time of preparing and
delivery
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delivering
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 food.
Furthermore
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, it would be better to inform customers in advance what amenities can be used in their tour, which is much more convenient for them
make
Verb problem
apply
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a
preparation
Replace the word
prepare
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 for their trip. I hope my recommendations are helpful for you to improve your service. Yours faithfully, Bella Liu

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Elaboration
You've done well in explaining your experience and providing concrete suggestions for improvement. To further enhance your letter, consider extending your explanation about why you chose the tour, elaborating on what specifically drew you to it beyond the reviews and advertised luxury. This would provide a more robust context for your disappointment.
Word Variety
For coherence and cohesion, you have skillfully organized your letter, ensuring a logical flow from one paragraph to the next. To enhance this, you might explore varied transitional phrases to seamlessly connect your thoughts and maintain reader engagement.
Task Achievement
Providing clear suggestions for improvement demonstrates strong task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The clear paragraphing with distinct points aligns well with instructional requirements, showcasing good structural organization.
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