it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is common knowledge that venturing outside the boundaries has a key role in
workplace
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the workplace
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as well as
in
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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. As far as I’m concerned,
although
risk-takers may be exposed
dangerous
Change preposition
to dangerous
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situations, they can take advantage of so many potential benefits. Venturing brings about so many plus points in both professional and personal lives. First of all, having the courage to face risks could result in earning a small fortune. And
this
will lead to enormous progress and respect not only in work place
,
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apply
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but
also
in their own life. Take immigration as an illustration. A young man who decides to abandon his occupation and accommodation in his country and leaves the nest in order to create a better life in a developed country has much more opportunity to earn a considerable sum of money compared with a person who feels complacency.
This
person can easily go up the career ladder and provide luxurious houses and cars for his family.
In addition
, venturing can enhance self-confidence.
that
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That
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is to say, a risk-taker person has to broaden his knowledge in order to prevent the following drawbacks. To clarify, if he didn’t achieve profound knowledge, he would face a failure condition.
For instance
, trading in share markets requires lots of information and if you are able to earn money from
this
trade, your self-esteem will increase.
However
, venturing may result in so many downsides. First and foremost, it can
also
decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
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self-esteem if people experience failure.
For example
, losing a small fortune in share markets may
finally
lead to depression, anxiety, and lack of confidence. On top of that,
this
loser will lose respect and faith in both household and workplace.
Secondly
,
this
could lead to bankruptcy.
As a result
of
this
, not only his family will leave him, but
also
his manager will sack him. To
summaries
Replace the word
summarise
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,
according to
the aforementioned,
although
venturing may bring about drawbacks to some extent, its benefits outweigh its downsides.
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task achievement
Continue to build on your strengths by providing clear and pertinent examples to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the complexity of your ideas.
task achievement
Ensure your argument is balanced by equally exploring both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, while making your personal stance clear.
language
Mind your grammatical accuracy and spelling to maintain the professionalism of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, making your position clear.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as immigration and trading in share markets, to support your points about the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.
coherence and cohesion
You maintained a logical structure throughout your essay, making it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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