IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart gives information about the life expectancy in Japan, Korea, the United States, and Indonesia, and the table shows the change in life expectancy between 1953 and 2008.

The bar chart gives information about the life expectancy in Japan, Korea, the United States, and Indonesia, and the table shows the change in life expectancy between 1953 and 2008.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares the
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 of people who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 born in 2008, in four different countries.
However
Linking Words
, the table illustrates
alteration
Correct article usage
the alteration
show examples
 in
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 from 1953 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest and lowest countries in
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 were Japan and Indonesia respectively, and the most remarkable change in
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 was in Indonesia with just under 16
years
Use synonyms
 increase.
According to
Linking Words
 the column graph, the average number of expected
years
Use synonyms
 to live was over 80
years
Use synonyms
 in Japan, which was higher than other mentioned countries. Korea with almost 78
ears
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States with approximately 77
years
Use synonyms
 came second and third in
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
. The lowest
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 can be seen in Indonesia
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 70
years
Use synonyms
. Looking at the table, Japan and the USA underwent an almost similar change in
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 (around 3
years
Use synonyms
). The expected living
years
Use synonyms
 among Indonesian people grew dramatically by 15 over the period of 55
years
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Korea with 12.5
years
Use synonyms
growth
Change preposition
of growth
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
was the second country that witnessed an increase in
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words life, expectancy, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: