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Band 5

More and more people are leaving countryside to live in cities. Do more advantages or disadvantages of this development for environment

#people #countryside #cities #development #environment
Urban areas are getting more populated as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas. in terms of the residential.
This
 essay will depict
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more of its drawbacks in terms of the impact over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
To begin
 with,
Firstly
, it is observed that with the development more and more facilities have been made available in the cities that include
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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, schools, businesses , shopping malls and many more.
Due to
 the availability of these services no doubt the rural people are commuting to the
citis
Correct your spelling
cities
city
. With the increasing population , there will be more demand
of
Change preposition
for
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 the landscape .
This
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
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 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 deforestation
thus
 affecting the process of the natural environment .
Secondly
, the rate of air pollution will
be increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
due to
 the use of lots of automobiles including buses, trains and cars for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation that release more harmful gases
in
Change preposition
into
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 the air.
In addition
 to
this
 , demand for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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water will
also
 be increased
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 give more
initation
Correct your spelling
initiation
 for soil digging. Lots of waste will be generated by the people through their daily activities
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
include
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
garbage,
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycling
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 and organic . Accumulation of more and more
recycle
Change the form of the verb
recycled
show examples
 products can
put
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 effect
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the fertility of
soil
Add an article
the soil
show examples
 .
However
, noise pollution will
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 increase.
For instance
, honking of the vehicles, trains ,
aeroplanes
Correct word choice
and aeroplanes
show examples
 will be increased on the roads .
Moreover
, the natural resources will be depleted day by day .
Consequently
 ,
due to
 the development
Add a comma
,
show examples
there will be
great
Add an article
a great
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 loss for the environment to be healthy as most of the ration of humans will be found to be in cities rather than in villages.
Submitted by gp04101995 on

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structure
Make sure your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction should outline the topic clearly.
content
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This helps illustrate your arguments and makes them more convincing.
task response
Try to maintain a balance between discussing advantages and disadvantages if the question asks for both, even if you lean towards one side more strongly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by utilizing a range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
content
Your essay effectively illustrates the negative impacts of urbanization on the environment.
structure
You logically structure your argument by discussing different environmental consequences, which helps the reader understand your points clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • ecosystems
  • economies of scale
  • public transportation
  • reforestation
  • rewilding
  • biodiversity
  • pollution
  • waste production
  • habitat destruction
  • fragmentation
  • traditional agricultural practices
  • sustainable
  • recycling
  • waste management
  • heat islands
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • rural-to-urban shift
What to do next:
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