IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how newspaper are recycled.

The diagram below shows how newspaper are recycled.
The diagram illustrates the recycling process of newspapers.
First,
Linking Words
the recycling process starts with papers which are placed in recycling bins. Those papers are sorted and baled and they become muddy mixtures of paper and water, named ‘slurry’ in a recycling plant. In the next step,
this
Linking Words
 slurry takes a step to be
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 from other contaminants
such
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 as glue, staples, and metals.
Then
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, chemical materials are added to it for whitening.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 slurry
are
Change the verb form
is
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 located
to
Change preposition
in
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 a press machine for squeezing water,
then
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 becomes a paper. The paper is cut
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 form of a proper
newspaper
Use synonyms
 size.
Lastly
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, the
newspaper
Use synonyms
 baled again and be represented to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
such
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 as at street supermarkets and subway stations. To summarise,
recycling
Correct article usage
the recycling
show examples
 process of
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
is started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 recycling bins and
then
Linking Words
 it has several steps
such
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 as sorting, baling, becoming slurry, and whitening. After those numerous complicated steps,
recycled
Add an article
the recycled
a recycled
show examples
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 can
be appeared
Change to the active voice
appear
show examples
 again.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words newspaper with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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