IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what eztent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that
institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
show examples
 should accompany an equal
ration
Correct your spelling
ratio
show examples
 of male and female learners in every course. I
partial
Change the word
partially
show examples
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement which I will explain in detail
further
Linking Words
. On the one hand, taking into consideration an equal amount of male and female
students
Use synonyms
 can help to decrease the partiality among the
students
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, If
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
will be
Wrong verb form
are
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 more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
 in the
enginnering
Correct your spelling
engineering
 class and less of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
 can create a lack of
confidnece
Correct your spelling
confidence
 among the
students
Use synonyms
 . It
also
Linking Words
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 some point of gender discrimination illustrating that
boys
Use synonyms
 are more capable
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
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 subject.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 raise the
compitition
Correct your spelling
competition
 level among the
students
Use synonyms
 as
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 or
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 will not feel
themsleves
Correct your spelling
themselves
 to be lower
among
Change preposition
than
show examples
 each other.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the teacher will never point over the learning
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 among the different
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the ratio ,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 the tutor
determine
Correct subject-verb agreement
determines
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 that
girls
Use synonyms
 are more intelligent
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
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boys
Use synonyms
 to study for that particular
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the ratio
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 is not
also
Linking Words
 important to maintain as it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 upon the
students
Use synonyms
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
level of interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that particular subject.
For example
Linking Words
,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
 are found to be
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science subjects rather
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then
Replace the word
than
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
 who prefer to go with
mathematic
Replace the word
mathematics
show examples
 calculation.
Furthermore
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, the outcome of the
particioation
Correct your spelling
participation
 for that particular subject does not relate
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the ratio of
students
Use synonyms
 , it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 upon the
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
 skill of the
students
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
Although
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 the division of
students
Use synonyms
 should be done equally in every
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject
show examples
 but is not mandatory as it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 upon the interest of the individual too.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to improve readability and make your essay more engaging.
Task Achievement
Include more detailed and relevant examples to back up your points, which would strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and look for synonyms to improve the variety of vocabulary used throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear thesis statement, which sets up the basis for your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
Good attempt at providing both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • innovative
  • comprehensive
  • bridge the gap
  • prevailent
  • STEM
  • meritocracy
  • undermine
  • qualification
  • inadvertently
  • reinforce
  • stereotypes
  • artificial
  • equality
  • access
  • opportunities
  • resources
  • quotas
  • root causes
  • societal norms
  • role models
  • disparities
  • inclusive
  • curriculum
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