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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show that percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show that percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #intake #nutrients #person #usa #snacks #summarie #information #features #comparisons
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The
pies
Change the noun form
pie
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 charts give information on how much
nutirients
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 an average American resident is supplemented through three meals and
snacks
Use synonyms
. To be more precise, the nutrients are Sodium, Saturated fat,
Added
Correct word choice
and Added
show examples
 Sugar, shown in
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
breakfast
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 is the healthiest meal comparatively as it supplies the smallest amount of each food
additivies
Correct your spelling
additives
additive
. People
cosume
Correct your spelling
consume
 Sodium and Saturated fat mostly during
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dinner
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 and in
snacks
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the highest Added Sugar
consumptionis
Correct your spelling
consumption is
consumption
 in
snacks
Use synonyms
. Looking into details in each
nutrients
Change to a singular noun
nutrient
show examples
. Sodium is highly consumed in
dinner
Use synonyms
 at 43% followed by the consumption in lunch at 29%. The
percentage
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 is identical
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 how much it is
comsumed
Correct your spelling
consumed
 in
snacks
Use synonyms
 and
breakfast
Use synonyms
 at 14%. Saturated fat follows
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar pattern. The
percentage
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 from large to small is of
dinner
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, lunch, snack and
breakfast
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, at 37%, 26%, 21% and 16% respectively.
Difference
Add an article
The difference
show examples
 is shown in the Added Sugar figures.
Snacks
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 provide 42% of the whole quantity which almost doubled
dinner
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 in the second place, followed by lunch and
breakfast
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, at a similar
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of 19% and 16%
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by carriexue23 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words snacks, percentage, breakfast, dinner with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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