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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the extensive use of computers in schools will replace the role of teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #schools #role #teachers
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As the importance of using
computers
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 at
school
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 increases, several people
concerned
Add a missing verb
are concerned
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 about
decreasing
Replace the word
the decrease
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of
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in
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teachers
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’ value,
However
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, I wholeheartedly believe that
teachers
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 will not be replaced by technological devices because the role of digital tools is no more than helping
teachers
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 to educate
students
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 more effectively.
Firstly
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, even though the computer’s performance has been improving dramatically,
teachers
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 are still necessary because they have to teach
students
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about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
important skills.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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AI tools can give
several
Correct word choice
apply
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information instantly to
students
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, but we are not able to
sure
Add a missing verb
be sure
show examples
 that
computers
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 always give perfect and correct answers to
students
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.
In addition
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,
students
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 are not adept at distinguishing right from wrong
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 information. In
this
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 regard,
this
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 is a teacher’s role to educate them to notice the right answers.
For example
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,
teachers
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 can teach the importance of checking sources of information when using those sources. Teaching
students
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of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 digital devices
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
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 for
students
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,
therefore
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,
teachers
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do
Verb problem
apply
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always play an important role in
students
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’ education.
In addition
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,
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
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 helps
teachers
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 to increase their productivity of their work. In the past,
teachers
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 consumed a lot of
time
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 for administrative tasks because they had to do everything by hand.
However
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, after using
computers
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, the usage of
time
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 for
such
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 tasks was declined substantially.
For example
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, Excel is totally efficient for filling out
students
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’ report cards with
sevral
Correct your spelling
several
 useful functions
such
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 as ‘copy’ and ‘paste’.
This
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time
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 saving makes
teachers
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be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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able to
contibute
Correct your spelling
contribute
 more
time
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 to
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
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students
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.
Therefore
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, technological devices are no more than tools for
teachers
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 to do their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
To sum up
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, it is undeniable that
teachers
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 do always play an important part in teaching at
school
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 even though
computers
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 are excessively
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 at
school
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that
teachers
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 will not be replaced by
computers
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jb22809467 on

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Introduction
Your essay provides a well-structured argument that effectively addresses the topic. Ensuring a clear, direct thesis statement in your introduction would further enhance your essay.
Body Content
While your examples are relevant, integrating a wider variety of examples and deeper analysis could strengthen your argument.
Language Usage
Consider varying your sentence structures and employing a broader lexical range to make your writing more dynamic.
Accuracy
Proofreading for minor grammatical and spelling errors can improve the overall polish of your essay.
Structure
You've effectively used paragraphs to organize your ideas, contributing to the essay's clarity and coherence.
Conclusion
Your conclusion successfully restates your thesis and summarizes your main points, reinforcing your argument.
Task Response
You provided clear reasons and examples to support your perspective, facilitating a comprehensive understanding of your viewpoint.
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