IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays more and more museums and art galleries around the world are putting their material content online. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, some individuals claim that
museums
Use synonyms
 and
galleries
Use synonyms
 across the world submit their
materials
Use synonyms
 online. I think it is negative because putting the
materials
Use synonyms
 online might come down the value of the
materials
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, putting
materials
Use synonyms
 online might prevent people from going to
museums
Use synonyms
 and
galleries
Use synonyms
 which is a negative influence on
galleries
Use synonyms
 and
museums
Use synonyms
. Some
museums
Use synonyms
 and
galleries
Use synonyms
 globally put their
materials
Use synonyms
 online. Putting
materials
Use synonyms
 in a gallery makes it more accessible for people who may not need to take a ticket to go to
museums
Use synonyms
 or
galleries
Use synonyms
. Paying for
museums
Use synonyms
 and
galleries
Use synonyms
 provides them rich and leads them to have more fascinating
materials
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the many which are connected
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
 can help other parts of the economy.
For example
Linking Words
, if a large amount of money is collected and not is no need for
museums
Use synonyms
 can be infrastructure.
Therefore
Linking Words
, putting
galleries
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
museums
Change the noun form
museum
show examples
materials
Use synonyms
 provides them with poor value. Putting material of
galleries
Use synonyms
 and
museums
Use synonyms
 provides them with poor qualities
according to
Linking Words
 their position as
galleries
Use synonyms
 and
museums
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
galleries
Use synonyms
 or
museums
Use synonyms
 are the places where all the unique and historical material should be kept.
While
Linking Words
 can be
find everything
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
 online
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there is a need for a place like
galleries
Use synonyms
 or
museums
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, putting
galleries
Use synonyms
 or
museum’s
Change noun form
museum
show examples
 material online provides them meaning less.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in general, it has been claimed that gallery
materials
Use synonyms
 are put online, I believe putting
materials
Use synonyms
 of
galleries
Use synonyms
 and
museums
Use synonyms
 online has a negative influence on the value of the
galleries
Use synonyms
 and
museums
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Your introduction should clearly present the topic and your viewpoint. Consider beginning with a broader introduction to the subject before stating your opinion.
Clarity
Ensure your main ideas are clearly and comprehensively expressed. Try to expand on your points with more detailed examples and explanations.
Examples
Incorporate specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your position more convincing and your essay richer.
Organization
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should have one main idea that relates back to your overall argument.
Language
Revise and proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and to clarify your ideas. Avoid repetition and aim for precise language.
Idea Generation
Addressing the impacts of digitalizing museum and gallery materials on their value and public interest.
Thoughtfulness
Attempting to discuss multiple aspects of the issue, including economic implications and societal engagement with culture.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: