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Band 5.5

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous government expenditures. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#restoration #buildings #cities #world #costs #government #expenditures #money #road #development
Some people disagree with rebuilding contractors;
however
, it is expensive. The rebuilding of historic structures in the majority of urban areas in many countries is cost-effective.In fact, governments have responded to existing construction, new housing, and road development. In my opinion, if governments have to
rebubble
Correct your spelling
bubble
 constructors in the majority of urban areas, they have to think about whether the area or place is essential to rebuild or not and whether the place is important to people or not.In fact, every rebuild has to spend a lot of money.
On the other hand
, new housing and roads have to be developed, which leads to investment in countries and makes the economy grow. The fundamental qualities of a country are roads and new residents. In conclusion,
while
 there are valid arguments on both sides of the debate, a balanced approach that considers the unique context and needs of each city is essential. Governments should prioritize investments in new housing and road development to address immediate infrastructure needs,
while
 simultaneously allocating resources towards the preservation of old buildings to safeguard cultural heritage and promote urban vitality. Striking
this
 balance ensures sustainable urban development that preserves the past
while
 building for the future.
Submitted by chalermchartbsc on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a more distinct separation of ideas within paragraphs to improve clarity.
task achievement
Expand on your arguments with more specific examples to support your points, enhancing task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively bookend your argument, showcasing your understanding of essay structure.
task achievement
You've successfully addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective that is crucial for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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