Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is believed by a group of
people
that growing
children in a spirit of Verb problem
raising
competition
is benefical
. Other individuals consider that there Correct your spelling
beneficial
some
upsides for Add a missing verb
are some
relationship
among Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
people
in co-operation. Even though competition
is practical for some situations in life
, from my perspective co-operation is vital.
From one
angle,competition
create
Change the verb form
creates
a
self-confidence Remove the article
apply
to
children. Since,if kids Change preposition
in
preveiled
in Correct your spelling
prevailed
one
contest,a sense of aplomb and motivation working
hard would increase. Taking Change the verb form
to work
one
of my friends as an example, he has recently won math
contest. Correct article usage
a math
Furthemore
after our teacher's motivation, he took part inCorrect your spelling
Furthermore
Correct article usage
a
republic level
Add a hyphen
republic-level
of
math Change preposition
apply
competition
and obtained the first prize of
Change preposition
in
contest
. On top of that self-confidence is practical in competitive conditions Add an article
the contest
such
as interview
for the job
Fix the agreement mistake
interviews
On the other hand
,co-operative
teaching is more significant than competitive teaching. In the modern era, Correct your spelling
cooperative
the
kindness is dying out Correct article usage
apply
from
our Change preposition
in
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
The co-operative
learning and working may be the best solution Correct article usage
Co-operative
as well as
connect
the Wrong verb form
connecting
relationship
among Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
people
. In addition
, collaboration is not only the
way of kindness but Correct article usage
a
also
adjusting the notions. If the teammates work together and change the ideas their task will be the best one
. I
beleive
,Correct your spelling
believe
celebrating
together is more enjoyable than winning alone.
All in all,a sense of Correct word choice
that celebrating
competition
play
a vital role in Change the verb form
plays
people
's private life
. However
Add a comma
However,
co-operation
is Correct your spelling
cooperation
Correct your spelling
beneficial
benefical
for all Correct your spelling
beneficial
human's
Change noun form
human
life
in the same way as the only way to link relations in people
's life
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coherence cohesion
To boost your coherence and cohesion score, consider improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that all ideas are connected logically. Using transition words and phrases can help make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Your arguments would be stronger with more developed ideas. Try expanding on each point and providing further examples or explanations to back up your arguments. This will make your task response more comprehensive and persuasive.
general
Watch out for small grammar and spelling mistakes, and try to avoid run-on sentences. Paying attention to these details can improve the overall clarity and readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You provide clear introductions and conclusions in your essay, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
relevant specific examples
The inclusion of specific examples, such as your friend winning a math contest, adds a personal touch and supports your arguments well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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