IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the diagram shows the process of making coffee

the diagram shows the process of making coffee
The diagram illustrates the process of packed coffees being produced.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
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 there are eleven stages of
coffee
Use synonyms
 production. The process begins with picking
coffee
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
 and ends with pouring
coffee
Use synonyms
 powder into jars.
To begin
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 with,
coffee
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
 are picked by hand from
coffee
Use synonyms
 trees
then
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 farmers will spread them on the open ground to dry by using sunlight. After the drying process, the
beans
Use synonyms
 will be collected and put into a high-temperature oven to roast
as well as
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getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 rid of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 remaining moisture inside the
beans
Use synonyms
. Followed by using low-temperature to freeze them suddenly and grinding the cold
beans
Use synonyms
 in a handed grinding machine.
Additionally
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, Powder from the previous stage will be mixed with hot water and strained,
furthermore
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, separate the powder from the mix. The mixture liquid is poured into the freezing container again to freeze rapidly and turn into frozen liquid.
Moreover
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,The frozen mix is
then
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 ground by hand again and the mixture will be put in a vacuum to remove a few leftover water in the frozen substances.
Besides
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, These substances are poured into jars for packaging and are ready to be sold in markets.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, beans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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