Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions

Foreign visitors play a crucial role in the economic side of the
country
because they spend lots of money to buy and enjoy visiting different
places
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
cultural heritage
places
. Some people think they should pay more money as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to locals,
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
they visit these
places
, but others do not agree with
this
statement. I strongly disagree and will put my argument in the impending paragraphs.
To begin
with, the reason
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why tourists should not pay more
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is that they are not getting
extra
Correct word choice
more
show examples
facilities than locals.
As a result
, they would feel paying extra money is unfair to them.
Although
, they like the place they will not visit that place and will not recommend
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
others.
Therefore
, it will be
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
economic loss for the
country
.
Furthermore
, charging more for visiting heritage
places
to overseas people makes them overwhelming.
In other words
, they would feel ripped off and may not visit the historical
places
. Resultantly, they will not learn your culture or may
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
negative comments on social media, which can
ruins
Change the verb form
ruin
show examples
the
country
’s reputation on an international level.
In addition
, if charging would be the same, more visitors would come to see the culture of the
country
which would make
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
jump in the economic growth of the
country
.
To sum up
, it can be iterated that it should be the same pay rate for visiting heritage
places
for both overseas tourists and locals not only because it is unfair but
also
helps to increase visitors in the
country
, which will help to boost the economic growth of the
country
.
Submitted by khushi8422 on

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Style
Consider diversifying your sentence structures to add complexity and finesse. This could involve using a variety of clause structures, such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, or passive voice, to convey your points in a more sophisticated way.
Content
To enhance task response, ensure that each paragraph contributes to your overall argument in a direct and meaningful way. This could involve more explicitly stating how each point supports your thesis in the introduction and conclusion.
Vocabulary
Use more precise and varied vocabulary to convey your points more effectively. This may include specific terms related to cultural and economic impacts, or more nuanced adjectives and adverbs to describe the effects on tourists and locals.
Balance
Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the issue.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement that sets the direction for your essay, making your stance on the issue clear from the beginning.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your stance and the reasoning behind it.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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