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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Describe a difficult task that you completed at work/study that you felt proud of. You should say: what the task was how you completed it why the task was difficult why you were proud of the completion of the task

#work #study #completion
Life without challenges seems pointless and boring to me. Completing a difficult
task
 provides us with a sense of
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 and one of the
world
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world's
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 best
feeling
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feelings
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. I am working at Tim Horton as a supervisor.
This
task
 was given by my manager. The
task
 was selling
pizza
 more than 80. There are a
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
a lot
 of things I did to complete
this
task
.
Firstly
, I started to promote new
pizza
 to each and every customer. I told them the flavour and offers they could get with
pizza
.
For completing
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To complete
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this
task
 I had to work hard. I found so many difficulties
to complete
Change preposition
in completing
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 the
task
 .
Firstly
, I was not feeling well on that and I had to train
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 trainee on that day . As I was a supervisor of the day , I had to maintain the floor properly.
last
 but not least, I had to bake
pizza
 as well because the people who
was
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were
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 working with me
do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not know how to bake
pizza
. When my manager told me , I sold 150
pizza
Fix the agreement mistake
pizzas
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 yesterday. I felt so proud
on
Change preposition
of
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me
Correct pronoun usage
myself
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.Because Achieving something after
hardworking
Correct word choice
hard work
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 gives me satisfaction . My manager told me you are not only the winner from my store but from
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 stores so well.
This
 was a moment ,
Correct pronoun usage
that making
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making
Wrong verb form
made
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 me immensely proud and
reinforcing
Wrong verb form
reinforced
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 the belief that hard work can make anything possible.
Submitted by baljotkaur2510 on

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Enhance Complexity
Try to expand on your points by adding more detail or using more complex structures to further enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines your essay and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, giving a sense of closure to the reader.
Language Use
Incorporate a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich the overall readability of your essay.
Specific Examples
You've done an excellent job providing specific examples and details, which made your story compelling and persuasive.
Structure
Your essay maintains a good structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your story.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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