IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people aroung the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #aroung #world #media #touch #events
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In the contemporary era, the pervasive use of social media for
communication
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 and accessing
news
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 has become a norm.
While
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 acknowledging the drawbacks,
this
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 essay posits that the advantages of streamlining
communication
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 and facilitating
news
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access
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 outweigh the negative impact of toxic
content
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. The most significant advantage lies in revolutionizing modern
communication
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 methods. Online
communication
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 through chatting and video calls has replaced traditional face-to-face interactions, facilitating connections across geographical barriers and fostering steady relationships among distant families.
Thus
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, modern technologies serve as a ubiquitous tool
bridging
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for bridging
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 interpersonal gaps.
Moreover
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, the advancement in
news
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 dissemination should not be overlooked. Social networking platforms have streamlined the process, providing
access
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 to a vast array of information with just a few clicks.
This
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 ease of
access
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 empowers individuals to stay informed about the latest developments, navigating the expansive realm of online
news
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 effortlessly.
Nevertheless
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, concerns persist regarding the proliferation of harmful
content
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 on these platforms, including violence and suicide-related material.
Such
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content
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 can negatively impact viewers' mental health.
However
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, it's important to note that social platform leaders have implemented stringent verification measures to mitigate the spread of adverse
content
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,
thus
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 alleviating these concerns. In conclusion,
while
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 acknowledging the presence of detrimental
content
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,
the
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apply
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modernized
communication
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 and
news
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access
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 facilitated by social media overshadow these drawbacks.
Therefore
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, utilizing social platforms for daily
communication
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 remains a superior benefit in today's interconnected world.
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task achievement
Ensure a more detailed coverage of both sides of the argument to thoroughly address the essay prompt.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to better support your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Maintain a balance between advantages and disadvantages before concluding to enrich the content's comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs to better guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider formatting your essay with clearer paragraph divisions to enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay effectively articulates the main advantages of social media, presenting clear arguments.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present and well-formulated, providing a solid framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout, facilitating an overall coherent discourse.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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