IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter •Describe what you enjoyed about the course. •Say how much cooking you've done since the course. •Suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer.

#cookery #course #school #feedback #director #•describe #•say #ve #•suggest #offer
Dear Mr Smith The reason I am writing to you is to express my opinion about your cooking course.
To begin
 with, I think that it is definitely worth all the money it costs. Everything was perfect, starting from the participants, whom you choose personally so that not everyone can pass. They are so kind and have similar interests.
Also
, the teachers were adorable. They kindly explained all the nuances to us so we did not even have trouble
while
Correct word choice
apply
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making our first dishes.
Moreover
, the products were fresh and delicious,
therefore
, the variety of choices was enormous.
Secondly
, the course offers really useful receipts and lifehacks, which simplify the cooking process. After finishing the training I have not ordered any food and saved a lot of money on it. To clarify, I decided that I would only cook by myself because it is not as hard as I thought before.
To sum up
, I would
also
 like to suggest you make some cakes and candies cookery course. It sounds great and I would definitely be there. I thank you for
such
 an opportunity and look forward to your reply. Kseniia
Submitted by ksrnnn on

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opening
Great opening and clear reason for writing which draws the reader's attention effectively.
structure
Well-structured paragraphs with clear ideas in each make the letter easy to follow.
development
Consider expanding on your suggestions with more detail to fully exploit the task.
personal touch
Use of personal examples and outcomes makes your feedback and suggestions more impactful.
structure
Effective use of paragraphs and clear topic sentences.
personal touch
Personal touches add depth to your feedback and suggestions, making them more engaging.
tone
Your enthusiasm and satisfaction with the course are clearly communicated.
closing
A polite and appropriate closing which reinforces a positive tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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