Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

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The ongoing debate regarding the impact of violence in TV shows and video games on individuals has been debated for years.

While

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some say

the

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that

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exposure to

such

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content

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encourages violent tendencies and contributes to aggressive behaviour in real life, others argue that it is a matter

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individual interpretation. I believe there are a few drawbacks which will be discussed in

this

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essay. First of all, there is a confirmed correlation between exposure to brutality in TV and computer games, especially among young

people

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and children. The research suggests that sometimes

such

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content

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blurs lines between fantasy and reality and

as a result

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, there are well-known cases of mass shootings in schools and public places done by

people

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with

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apply

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unstable mental health.

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, brutal

content

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is highly likely to impact empathy towards others in a negative way. Individuals might become less sensitive to the results of their own actions, which normalises violence.

Secondly

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, aggressiveness online potentially increases

such

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emotions as fear and anxiety.

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people

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become more stressed and the possibility of taking it out on others goes up.

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this

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prevents

from

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us from

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fostering a peaceful society and I believe

this

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is a problem that needs to be addressed.

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even though there is an opinion that broadcasted aggressiveness might be a release for naturally violent individuals, I believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

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I support the idea of responsible consumption and limited hours when

people

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are exposed to

such

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content

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Additionally

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, it is crucial to acknowledge the effects are complex and violence on TV is just one of many factors.

Submitted by anapoliakovaa on Mon May 13 2024

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task achievement

Aim to include more specific examples and data to support your arguments, as this can enhance the persuasive power of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Maintain your strong organizational structure, but consider varying your transitional phrases to enhance readability and flow.

coherence cohesion

You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, providing a clear stance on the topic, which enhances the coherence of your writing.

task achievement

Your essay displays a comprehensive coverage of the topic, presenting a nuanced view that reflects good understanding.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

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in some cultures, childeren are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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