Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most poeple's lives, Others think that adult lif brings more happiness in side of greater responsibities Discuss both these view and give your own opinion

In our
life
,
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
should
gone
Change the verb form
go
show examples
to the teenage
stage
and
adult
stage
and every
one
haqve
Correct your spelling
have
some
happienst
Correct your spelling
happiest
happiness
memories at teenage and
adult
satge
Correct your spelling
stage
stages
.
Also
,
this
essay will be discussed
aabout
Correct your spelling
about
happiest
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
before
marriage
and after
marriage
. Some
peole
Correct your spelling
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
believe that
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
show examples
stage
is a
bluemoon
Correct your spelling
blue moon
of their
life
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
at
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
stage
we don't have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility to the family and society. and they are not thinking
abour
Correct your spelling
about
their future.
Additionally
, they are spending more time with
ther
Correct your spelling
their
friends
for sharing
Change preposition
to share
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good, bad, and sad news and
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
, i t will
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
more relaxation and happiness.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
In my
one
of friends Mr. Hari,
my self
Correct your spelling
myself
show examples
and
hari
Change the capitalization
Hari
show examples
will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
share the news and information
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will
gives
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
more
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
to the brain. Few people
are thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
about
after
Add a hyphen
after-marriage
show examples
marriage
life
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
joyful because family
life
is a responsibility
stage
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the family and society and
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
after
marriage
life
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people will stay with family with
chillderns
Correct your spelling
children
and these people have more
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to care
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
familly
Correct your spelling
family
,
For
Instance
Add the comma(s)
Instance,
show examples
one
of childhood
familly
Correct your spelling
family
friend he had
marriage
5 years before now he always
thjink
Correct your spelling
think
thinks
about family happiness.
Furthermore
, he
alwasy
Correct your spelling
always
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
about
futurstic
Correct your spelling
futuristic
. In conclusion, my view point we have two
stage
Change to a plural noun
stages
show examples
of
life
ons
Correct your spelling
one
is teenage and another
one
is
adult
Furthermore
, In teenage we always enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves with
show examples
friends and
adult
stage
we
alwasy
Correct your spelling
always
enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves with
show examples
family. both
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
we would
responsbility
Verb problem
be responsible
show examples
to the family and society.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Try to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will make your arguments more coherent.
Grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Mistakes can make your essay harder to understand.
Examples
Use specific examples to support your points. While you have attempted this, clearer and more relevant examples directly linked to the question would improve your essay.
Task Response
Re-read the prompt to ensure your essay directly addresses the question asked. Your introduction should clearly state the topic and your stance.
Understanding
You've shown an understanding of contrasting viewpoints on happiness at different life stages.
Effort
Your attempt to include examples, like the story about your friend, shows an effort to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: