some developed countries have reduced the number of school hours. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In the
contemporay
Correct your spelling
contemporary
world, the
time
spent in educational institutes has been cut off by
cerain
Correct your spelling
certain
developed nations. I personally hold a belief that
this
is one of the productive steps
due to
its significant benefits. I will justify my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, it has been seen that most of the
students
found
scarcity
Add an article
a scarcity
show examples
of the
time
for doing any
extra-culicular
Correct your spelling
extra-curricular
extra-cuticular
activities as they have to spend a considerable amount of
time
in their schools only. As a
consequeces
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
, after spending a
long-houred
Correct your spelling
long-hours
hectic day at
school
they feel quite
exhoustic
Correct your spelling
exhausted
which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them unable to do any other desirable tasks. To cite an example, In a developing country like India, about 85% of the
school goers
Correct your spelling
schoolgoers
show examples
who
attain
Verb problem
attend
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
school
from 9 AM to 5 PM
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
only 10% participation in sports and other creative activities. In that context, reducing the
school
duration not only
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
plenty of
time
to do
exta
Correct your spelling
extra
activities
such
as music, arts and sports, but
also
break
Correct subject-verb agreement
breaks
show examples
thier monotonus
Correct your spelling
their monotonous
routine and reduces the
study related
Add a hyphen
study-related
show examples
stress among the children.
As a result
, in
addidtion
Correct your spelling
addition
to bookish
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
, they can get
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time
to enhance
thier
Correct your spelling
their
extra skills. Talking about another aspect, cutting educational hours can hinder the study among
students
. To be specific, it can be
challanging
Correct your spelling
challenging
for the educators to cover the entire syllabus within a short allocated period.
Thus
, it not only increases the stress among teachers to learn
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bunch of the topics in a single period but
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
it difficult for
students
to catch a huge
ontent
Correct your spelling
content
in a single session. From a personal
standpint
Correct your spelling
standpoint
,
althogh
Correct your spelling
although
spending
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
hours in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
makes it problematic for tutors and
students
to complete the syllabus on
time
, I am
leaned
Replace the word
lean
show examples
to count
this
change as a
beneficial
Replace the word
benefit
show examples
that allows the
students
to
nourishing
Wrong verb form
nourish
show examples
their
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
skills and reducing the
acedemic
Correct your spelling
academic
stress by providing ample
time
.
Submitted by margijoshi19 on

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Task Achievement
Focus on ensuring your argument is consistently clear throughout the essay. Although your points are generally relevant, more specific examples could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Pay attention to the spelling of words. Correct spellings (e.g., 'extra-curricular' instead of 'extra-culicular', 'exhausted' instead of 'exhoustic') and the use of precise vocabulary can improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structures and aim for a mixture of complex and simple sentences to convey your ideas more fluidly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review your essay to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This will enhance the overall flow and readability of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You provided an effective introduction and conclusion that presented your viewpoint clearly and wrapped up your argument effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
You logically organized your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point.
Task Achievement
You successfully covered the topic with an appropriate response, presenting a balanced view by discussing both benefits and drawbacks.
Task Achievement
Your use of relevant examples, though could be more specific, helps to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced lifestyle
  • stress and burnout
  • self-directed learning
  • conventional curriculum
  • family bonds
  • academic rigor
  • gaps in knowledge
  • socioeconomic backgrounds
  • extracurricular activities
  • supplement
  • personalized and adaptive learning
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