IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today more and more people want things instantly. Why is this? Is this positive or negative development?

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In recent years, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 a rise in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 requiring things instantly
due to
Linking Words
 higher demand.
This
Linking Words
 writer believes
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development as it encourages
evolving
Correct article usage
the evolving
show examples
 manufacturing industry
as well as
Linking Words
 inventing breakthroughs. It needs to be understood that human higher demand leads to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase in the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of individuals hoping to own things immediately. As technology and society develop,
people
Use synonyms
 need more time in order to complete their tasks and daily
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the faster they finish an activity, the more time they have for others.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
various
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 try to get immediate
services
Use synonyms
 or commodities so as to save time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 now believe that speed is a trait of efficient productivity, which makes them think that
services
Use synonyms
 and companies which are slow do not perform well in their aspects.
According to
Linking Words
 a survey in the USA, most
people
Use synonyms
 complain about shipping
services
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 their slowness. It should be acknowledged that faster
services
Use synonyms
 encourage employers to produce more items and goods.
This
Linking Words
 supports them to increase their finance
as well as
Linking Words
 their reputation as long as they satisfy their customers. What is more, in order to achieve that goal, companies have to come up with numerous innovations and breakthroughs.
This
Linking Words
 means that
this
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 situation asks employees and managers to remain innovative constantly, resulting in technology development and various inventions. Taking the USA as an example, their technology is more modern than other nations
due to
Linking Words
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 desire to have instant
services
Use synonyms
. Taking all into
considerations
Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
show examples
, the increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 requiring things instantly is resulted
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 higher demand.
Hence
Linking Words
, it leads to positive development
due to
Linking Words
 growing production and coming up with innovations.

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Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with examples or explanations. While the essay contains good examples, further detailing or more specific examples could enhance clarity and support your points more robustly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make use of a wider range of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
To improve your score further, consider deepening your analysis of the topic by exploring not just the positive aspects but also potential negatives in a balanced manner. This could lead to a more nuanced discussion.
Task Achievement
You've done a good job of sticking to the topic and responding to all parts of the task. Your argument about the positive impact of the demand for instant services is well-structured.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly presenting your thesis and summarizing your main points at the end, which is excellent for structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, particularly with the inclusion of a survey about shipping services in the USA, which adds credibility to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • rapid advancement
  • instant communication
  • online shopping
  • fast food delivery
  • social media platforms
  • immediate feedback
  • recognition and validation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • decreased patience
  • delayed gratification
  • realistic expectations
  • work ethic
  • unrealistic expectations
  • stress
  • dissatisfaction
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