Today more and more people want things instantly. Why is this? Is this positive or negative development?

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In recent years, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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a rise in the number of
people
Use synonyms
requiring things instantly
due to
Linking Words
higher demand.
This
Linking Words
writer believes
this
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is a positive development as it encourages
evolving
Correct article usage
the evolving
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manufacturing industry
as well as
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inventing breakthroughs. It needs to be understood that human higher demand leads to
the
Correct article usage
an
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increase in the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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of individuals hoping to own things immediately. As technology and society develop,
people
Use synonyms
need more time in order to complete their tasks and daily
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the faster they finish an activity, the more time they have for others.
Therefore
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, many
various
Correct word choice
apply
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people
Use synonyms
try to get immediate
services
Use synonyms
or commodities so as to save time.
Moreover
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, many
people
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now believe that speed is a trait of efficient productivity, which makes them think that
services
Use synonyms
and companies which are slow do not perform well in their aspects.
According to
Linking Words
a survey in the USA, most
people
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complain about shipping
services
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
their slowness. It should be acknowledged that faster
services
Use synonyms
encourage employers to produce more items and goods.
This
Linking Words
supports them to increase their finance
as well as
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their reputation as long as they satisfy their customers. What is more, in order to achieve that goal, companies have to come up with numerous innovations and breakthroughs.
This
Linking Words
means that
this
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situation asks employees and managers to remain innovative constantly, resulting in technology development and various inventions. Taking the USA as an example, their technology is more modern than other nations
due to
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human
Correct article usage
the human
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desire to have instant
services
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. Taking all into
considerations
Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
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, the increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
requiring things instantly is resulted
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
higher demand.
Hence
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, it leads to positive development
due to
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growing production and coming up with innovations.

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Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with examples or explanations. While the essay contains good examples, further detailing or more specific examples could enhance clarity and support your points more robustly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make use of a wider range of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
To improve your score further, consider deepening your analysis of the topic by exploring not just the positive aspects but also potential negatives in a balanced manner. This could lead to a more nuanced discussion.
Task Achievement
You've done a good job of sticking to the topic and responding to all parts of the task. Your argument about the positive impact of the demand for instant services is well-structured.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly presenting your thesis and summarizing your main points at the end, which is excellent for structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, particularly with the inclusion of a survey about shipping services in the USA, which adds credibility to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • rapid advancement
  • instant communication
  • online shopping
  • fast food delivery
  • social media platforms
  • immediate feedback
  • recognition and validation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • decreased patience
  • delayed gratification
  • realistic expectations
  • work ethic
  • unrealistic expectations
  • stress
  • dissatisfaction
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