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Band 4.5

Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#overpopulation #world
Some individuals believe one demanding and crucial challenges that the world encounters these days is dealing with a large population.
However
, people like me have a strong opinion that overpopulation never endangers the
environment
.
Therefore
, in the following paragraphs, I will state my perspective. As far as I know, from the Big Bang up to now, nature made itself recover from every disaster or menace. The horrible occurings like the prevail of plague, erupt of mountatins, and so on always passed a period of resurging to their normal status.
For example
, theories stated that by overshadowing a disease
such
 as Covid-19 a period started to regulate the overpopulation problem.
Therefore
,
an amount
Change the quantifier
a number
show examples
 of people lost their lives because of nature behaviour. For
this
 concrete reason, I totally disagree with the statement that any mankind's footprint or disturbing actions in the
environment
 will deterimental for the natural
environment
. The reason is that nature has obeyed a solid rule which brings it in a static deposition. So, if we consider the Big Bang or Doom's Day as harsh as
colapsing
Correct your spelling
collapsing
 our planet, after a period, I would be optimistic that the blue planet rejuvinates from nothing. In conclusion, I would reiterate that neither somebody nor something produces a problem for the
environment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the world is more resistant than people had expected.
Submitted by nimamoslemy on

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Task Achievement
Try to directly address the question in your introduction, stating clearly whether you agree or disagree with the statement provided.
Task Achievement
Enhance your argument with more specific examples and data to support your points more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing a more coherent structure by linking your ideas and paragraphs more clearly. Transition phrases can help with this.
Language
Pay attention to spellings and grammatical accuracy to improve the clarity of your arguments.
Creativity
Your essay introduces an interesting perspective, illustrating creativity in your approach.
Structure
You provided a clear conclusion summarizing your viewpoint, which is good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exacerbating
  • finite resources
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable consumption
  • habitat loss
  • family planning
  • renewable energy
  • technological advancements
  • resource management
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