Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development, others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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With the advance of technology, especially in the artificial intelligence (AI) field, many
people
are concerned about computers being smarter than humans.
However
, I think there are many benefits to our lives when that happens. Of course, there are legal reasons why
people
have concerns about
this
development. The first concern is that AI will one day control the human species.
This
concern,
although
sounding like it is straight from sci-fi movies, is reasonable.
This
dystopia happens when computers can teach themselves and develop into supercomputers, making humans their servants. Another concern is more realistic, saying that machines will take over
human's
Change noun form
human
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jobs. When artificial devices are capable of accurately completing mundane tasks, they are capable of replacing human workers. Not to
mentiont
Correct your spelling
mention
that dependency on technologies might lead to loss of human jobs, erosion of privacy, and potential misuse of AI in warfare or by criminals.
For example
, recent research suggests that around half of the global population will be unemployed within the next decade
due to
the progress of the digital revolution.
However
, there are various benefits that intelligent computers bring to homo sapiens. The first advantage is that Computing
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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utilize resources better than
people
do.
Moreover
,
softwires
Correct your spelling
software
surpassing human intelligence could lead to advancements in medical research, solving complex problems more efficiently, and improving quality of life through personalized services. The second advantage is that AI brings convenience to humankind. The age of AI means less physical labour and more accessible information to other
people
.
For example
, Specialists can see improvements in health since they do not have to work as hard as before. Some applications of AI
such
as ChatGPT and Copilot can even help individuals make better decisions
as a result
of multiple algorithms. These applications can save
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
from the tiring process of checking out the pros and cons of a decision.
While
recognizing the potential for significant advancements, there's a need for firm ethical standards and regulatory frameworks to mitigate the risks associated with highly intelligent AI. In conclusion, there are both positives and negatives to developing devices that are as intelligent as humans.
However
, I think that the positives outweigh the negatives in terms of resource utilization and providing convenience.
Submitted by tahsin.adam3 on

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Language Accuracy
Ensure spelling and grammar are carefully checked to maintain clarity and precision throughout your essay. There were minor errors observed such as 'not to mentiont' which should be 'not to mention', and 'softwires' instead of 'softwares'.
Development and Support
Try to include more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. While general examples are provided, more detailed illustrations could enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
Balance of Discussion
Consider evenly discussing both viewpoints before stating your conclusion. This balanced approach will strengthen your essay's objectivity and comprehensiveness.
Structure
You've presented a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs delineating the two views, and a succinct conclusion summarizing your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of transitional phrases to guide the reader through your essay, enhancing its coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
The essay successfully addresses the prompt by discussing both the potential positive and negative consequences of computers surpassing human intelligence, reflecting good task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • cognitive capabilities
  • technological singularity
  • ethical standards
  • regulatory frameworks
  • personalized services
  • erosion of privacy
  • misuse of AI
  • stringent
  • mitigate
  • advancements
  • dependency
  • efficiently
  • complex problems
  • quality of life
  • significant
  • intelligent AI
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